Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Status Update

dead stage
STAGE: Getting there, and would get there a lot sooner if Precarious Lee hadn’t started communing with Bear’s spirit and tried to rewire the mixing board with a hammer.

BOBBY: Relaxed, doing yoga, letting out yoga farts, hanging out with the dogs.

BILLY: Bored, antsy, regretful about Benjy Eisen’s tragic death, sending hookers to Bruce Hornsby’s room.

PHIL: Yelling at Peter Shapiro, the internet, Mickey, and Jeff Chimenti. Also binge-watching Orange is the New Black.

MICKEY: Arguing with contractors about the new closet he’s going to add to fit the three tons of free t-shirts he’s picking up the next two weeks.

PETER SHAPIRO: Being yelled at by Phil, remembering what someone wrote about meeting your heroes, paying off angry hookers Billy sent to Bruce Hornsby’s room.


GARCIA: Also dead.

TREY ANASTASIO: Nervous and scared, but mixed with excitement. Like 90% excitement, and 10% nervous and scared? Hanging out in his hotel room playing the Laser Duck and listening to all the screaming going on in the hall.

THE DEADHEADS: Gathering as we speak.

THE GATE: Being counted, laundered, turned into krugerrands, and flown to the Cayman Islands as we speak.

BRUCE HORNSBY: Being beaten with a shoe by a hooker named Flaflonda, hating Billy.

JEFF CHIMENTI: On-time, sober, and prepared for whatever opportunities you choose to include him in, thank you.




  1. 3rd show at Winterland 1971-ish drove past a hooker beating up a John (who had apparently stiffed her) with her purse. “Give Me My Money M-F!’

    We were just three wide-eyed simple County Boys who wanted to hear Jerry sing his folk songs.

    Great Times

  2. Flaflonda—hahaha

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