Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Steve Silberboy

Excuse me, but you can’t be here.

“What?”

Randos need to be supervised by a Grateful Dead at all times. Or at least John Mayer.

“I’m not a rando. You own several of my books.”

Ooohhhhh. Wow, sorry. You do not look like I expected, Mr. Pynchon.

“Nope.”

Are you one of the Brontë sisters?

“I said that you own several of my books.”

Got me there. None of those women are allowed in my house. Okay, I’m stumped.

“Steve Silberman.”

Nope.

“Yeah.”

I really don’t think so. Steve Silberman wears suspenders.

“You can’t be this stupid.”

Oh, yeah? Try me.

“I am Steve Silberman, best-selling author and recent interviewee of Amir Bar-Lev from the documentary Long Strange Trip. There was a lot of extra conversation that didn’t make the movie, so I transcribed it for Dead.net.

Lemme check.

Yup, it’s Dead.net. All the comments are yelling about how you should have transcribed a conversation from the 80’s.

“It’s as single-minded as Breitbart in there.”

They have a cause. You sure you’re Silberman? You look like the new bass player for Metallica.

“Jason Newstead?”

No, the new new bass player.

“Robert Trujillo’s 12-year-old son?”

No, the old new new bass player.

“Robert Trujillo?”

Yeah.

“Glad we got that settled. Was there a purpose to any of this?’

No. Wait: be more specific. I mean, the answer’s still gonna be “no,” but I want to know if you’re asking whether life has a purpose or this post.

“Post.”

No.

“Leave me out of your bullshit.”

I make no promises. Steve?

“What?”

That dimple is fucking adorable.

“Leave me out of your bullshit.

Maybe.

5 Comments

  1. Ah, now I can relax. My life’s work — appearing on TOTD — has been fulfilled. Carry on.

  2. Robin Russell

    June 3, 2017 at 8:28 am

    Appearances can be deceiving.

  3. Single-minded the alt. adjective for fascist?

    Spicer will be ripping that off.

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