Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Surprises In The New Star Wars Film

  • Two musical numbers might have been one too many.
  • Han has a mustache throughout the film: they erased it for the trailer.
  • One of the new, young stars of the film, Daisy Ridley, wears a pair of Beats by Dre headphones around her neck in several scenes.
  • The film is three hours and thirty-five minutes long with an intermission.
  • Roberto Benigni is in it.
  • John Williams’ symphonic score replaced by Vangelis and a bunch of synthesizers.
  • Also, over the end credits is a rap by Bobby Brown reiterating the plot of the film.
  • “Try to battle General Leia? That’s not legal!” is one of the lines, if I recall correctly.
  • Shot according to the Dogma 95 rules.
  • After-credits scene setting up the Chewbacca solo movie, If It’s Tuesday, This Must Be Kashyyyk.
  • This one’s about trade routes, too.
  • About 45 minutes in, there’s an ad for Earl Bass RV and Trailer out on Rt 16, which is out of place with the rest of the movie.
  • A lot more nudity than you might expect from a Star Wars film.
  • Full-frontal, too: one guy had a visible half-chub.
  • Also more blackface than I would have preferred.
  • The Enterprise self-destructs.
  • Plot centers around Han and Chewie’s race to get home for Life Day, and features musical performances from Diahann Carroll and Jefferson Starship.
  • It is animated, about bunnies, and tremendously violent.
  • Pss pss pss.
  • I am being told that the bunny film is not Star Wars: The Force Awakens, but Watership Down.
  • Now that I think about it: there were no bunnies–murderous or otherwise–in the new Star Wars picture.
  • There is heroism.
  • There is villainy.
  • There’s a bunch of shit that makes little to no sense if given a moment’s thought.
  • Captain Phasma? More like Captain Spazma.

3 Comments

  1. Vangelis, really? He was in The Yes for two seconds, between Rick Wakeman and Patrick Moraz, I think, but he has been written out of Yes history.

    If you made it up, even more awesome

  2. Bonnie Lass of Fenario

    December 19, 2015 at 9:48 am

    My favorite is when Mr. Spock kicks the Empire’s butt, then launches into a soliloquy about the many vs. the few. This time, the few win.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

*