Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Swiggity Swooty, I’m Comin’ For That Flooty


“Oh, hey, man.”

Not you, hairmonster.

“Hey, brother.”

Cop a walk, dopesucker.


How are you this evening? Nice fedora: are you on Reddit?

“Are you a cop?”

Yes, and I’m going to arrest you for stealing my heart.

“I think I hate you.”

Nothing to think about.


You look like Jessica Biel before she fucked up her face.

“People tell me that.”

Can I smell your hair?

“Absolutely not.”




    THIS is absolutely wretched. Even *I* feel remorse posting it. But hey, you gotta live.

  2. People like Hairmonster and Dopesucker are the reason why I take showers.

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