Are you still doing this?
“I heard you got my song in your head.”
Not talking to you, John.
“I hate this site.”
I am nicer to you than any other site on the internet that’s not a John Mayer fan page.
Now, shh. Hey, Brent.
“Hey, man. How’m I doing?”
You are dancing just like a panda. Hey, did you see that your daughter made her debut performance the other night?
“Of course I saw. I was there.”
“No one noticed me. I was in a Gruff the Crime Dog costume.”
Yeah, no one noticed you.
“What else could I do?”
Shave your beard. Literally no one on the planet would recognize you without your beard.
It’ll grow back.
“No, I can’t. There’s nothing under there. The entire lower half of my face is made of beard. It would be like sweeping a dirt floor.”
How would you know you were done?
What about a fake beard over your beard?
“That’s just silly.”
Right. Whereas wearing mascot costumes is serious business.
“In the Furry community it is.”
Don’t talk to me about that nonsense.
“You’re a bigot.”
“Y’know, us Osaphiles get enough bullshit, and I won’t take it.”
Don’t bring Greek into your perversions.
“Hey, fuck you, man!”
Where you going?
“I’m going to ruin a stranger’s day!”
Don’t do that, Brent.
Why did you do that, Brent?
“I don’t get any respect at all around here!”
That’s not true, buddy.
“You treat me like a joke!”
I do not.
“YOU MAKE ME SO MAD!”
Let it out, buddy.