Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: david gans (page 1 of 3)

Dropping In

You look familiar.

“Hi, I’m David Gans, host of the Grateful Dead Hour on SiriusXM’s GD Radio, and I’m here to tell you about my new album.”

Did…did you travel through time to plug your record?

“Yes.”

Respect.

“Gotta hustle in an expanding music market.”

True. Usually, people around here break the laws of temporality for much dumber reasons. Billy keeps using the Time Sheath to score–and I’m quoting–Etruscan puss.

“Well, I can see doing that once. You know, for the experience.”

He’s there all the time. They know him in Etrusca.

“I don’t think the Etruscans lived in Etrusca.”

Etruscaloosa?

“Can you pay attention? I literally traveled through time to tell the Enthusiasts about my album.”

In a Beetle, nonetheless.

“I bought it off an astronomer. Anyway, the record’s called Drop The Bone and it’s solo and full band stuff, originals and covers. Little bit of everything.”

Sounds good, but can we hear some of it?

“Funny you should ask that.”

You gonna hang around 2017?

“Fuck, no. It’s horrible here.”

Everything’s broken and covered in sadness, yeah.

“Hey, Young David Gans!”

Who was that?


“It’s me, Young Steve Silberman!”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“Hey, Young Steve! What are you up to?”

“Being young, going to Dead shows. You?”

“Same! I love being young and going to Dead shows!”

“We should do that right now!”

“Is there a Dead show right now?”

“I have the Time Sheath, so: yes.”

“Awesome!”

Can you two take this somewhere–

“Hey, guys! I heard you were being young and going to Dead shows, eh?”

I know that accent.

“Hey, Dave!”

“David. Hey, Dave!”

“Hey, Dave!”

“David. Hey, Steve!”

ALL OF YOU GET OUT OF HERE.

“Was there a young person’s party?”

NO!

“You’re very rude.”

I like your Bar Mitzvah suit.

“Thank you.”

Beck And Will Call

This might be the only time I can say this: Bill Graham is adorable.

OR

That woman’s hair is crooked.

OR

Those are Ovation guitars, Young Enthusiasts. They were made of polymers and petroleum squeezings, and their backs were big salad bowls made of tacky, thick plastic. They were popular because they were (one of) the first acoustic-electric guitars, which meant they had built-in pickups and you could plug them right into the amp. Before this, you would hold your acoustic guitar in the vicinity of a microphone; this would produce a sound made of 90% feedback, 5% extraneous noise, and 5% music.

Any song you played on an Ovation sounded like Bon Jovi.

OR

That couch is mostly semen and marijuana seeds.

OR

Seven drinks for five people. Sounds like Grateful Dead math.

OR

“Um, excuse me.”

Oh, hey, Bobby. What’s up?

“You seen my beard?”

Look to your left.

“Okay.”

And twenty years in the future.

“Ah, there it is.”

OR

Hey, David Gans, author of This is all a Dream we Dreamed. Is that you next to Bobby?

Ventura Speedway Boogie

Holy shit, is this too much Grateful Dead. I’ve listened to, like, four Dead shows today and this is too much Grateful Dead. It’s like sugar: a little sugar in your coffee is good, but too much sugar and three days of Dead tribute bands is ridiculous.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Get your facts straight: there are also Jerry Band tribute acts.

This is my Guantanamo right here.

The question is: how many of these are tribute bands, and how many are cosplay outfits?

You mean, like, they got a Bobby in Bobby clothes that tells Bobby’s jokes, and Fake Billy has a mustache and fake-punches real dicks?”

Yeah.

80/20% ratio.

Probably.

People love being outside. I don’t get it.

It’s a mystery.

Of course, FoTotD David Gans will be wonderful.

Of course, and his book can be purchased here in softcover. Hey, you wanna see something scary?

Sure.

55 HOUR DRUM CIRCLE!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This is why Trump won.

It is, yeah.

Bring The Kiddies, Bring The (Keyboardist’s) Wife

stealie mets

Attention New York Enthusiasts: do you wanna hear some news, or should I just go fuck myself?

God, that’s an old joke.

The good bits and the new material go in the big posts.

Sure. So what’s the news?

Dead & Co will not be at CitiField.

What? So who will be?

Dead & WHOA-OHH-AHHHHH-AHAHH-YEEEEEEEAAAAAHH!

Mrs. Donna Jean?

You didn’t hear it from me.

Who’d I hear it from, then?

No idea. But do you know that This Is All A Dream We Dreamed, the spectacular oral history of the Dead co-written by the great David Gans, is only $22.99 from Amazon?

I didn’t.

It’s a good deal.

Throw It Down, Big Gans

david gans bill walton

FoTotD David Gans, whose book This Is All A Dream We Dreamed is available at Amazon, and Bill Walton, whose book is also available at Amazon, had themselves a good old-fashioned Dead shirt-off this morning. Out of respect for Bill Walton’s achievements, I will declare this a draw (even though I am a complete sucker for the flying eyeball).

David Gans also interviewed Bill Walton for KPFA; it’ll air on Wednesday next Wednesday, June 29th, at 8pm Pacific and I have inside information: Bill Walton is gregarious, digressive, and enthusiastic. Hope I didn’t spoil it for you.

What if you can’t wait for a Coach Wooden story? Well, you’re in luck:

Screen Shot 2016-06-20 at 4.38.39 PM

The big man’s at Bobby’s place tonight, the Sweetwater, talking about stuff and marveling at things. Also, as you can see by the title “An Evening With Bill Walton,” the New Riders will be opening and there will be an acoustic set. If you’re in the area, go over and ask him dopey questions.

Leshy And The Gans Man In The Morning!

dgans-phil-kfog-web

Here’s a cool shot I hadn’t seen before: FoTotD, and co-author of the acclaimed This Is All A Dream We Dreamed, David Gans with Phil doing some radio sometime in the late 80’s. David has that expression on his face because Billy has been calling in for the past hour on multiple phone lines, and every time he gets on the air he screams “BABA BOOEY!” and it’s tough to keep a call-in show going under those circumstances.

We Want The Airwaves

Two pieces of news on this Sunday, Enthusiasts:

  1. Tales from the Golden Road, the long-running Grateful Dead radio show on SiriusXM’s channel 23 hosted by David Gans (co-author of This is All a Dream we Dreamed)and Gary Lambert, will be a FoTotD party today: Jesse Jarnow, author of Heads, and David Browne, author of So Many Roads, will be appearing on the show at 4 o’clock today (Eastern). They’ll be taking calls, and if you’d like to phone in and bring up, say, poop on the bocce courts or magical highways or a sentient PA system, then that would be cool. Even cooler, you could buy all of their books in the sidebar.
  2. TotD will not be covering the Beyoncé album.

Radio Daze

F(s)oTotD David Gans and Gary Lambert had Young John Mayer as a guest on their Tales from the Golden Road show on Sirius/XM; he stayed for the whole two hours and Bobby even called in from vacation. You can listen here, but if you don’t have the time, then here’s some of what we learned from YJM, with a guest appearance from OBW.

  • Went through three different bandana wranglers during the tour.
  • Engaged to Jon Lovitz.
  • Still has not met Jeff Chimenti, but has heard great things.
  • Through regression therapy, John Mayer has realized that in a past life, he was the ladder used in the Lindbergh baby kidnapping.
  • The Earthroamer still smells; also, Billy stole the engine.
  • Convinced that this is the Orioles’ year.
  • Speaking of baseball, John Mayer brought a bat into the studio and smacked it into his palm whenever David or Gary asked a question he didn’t appreciate.
  • The Cartier Rotonde de Cartier Astromystérieux was hands-down the sensation of the Salon International de la Haute Horlogerie, but the Panerai Lo Scienziato was a close second; never underestimate an angled tourbillon regulator.
  • Was at a big fancy Hollywood party the other day and got to sloppy second with Shailene Woodley.
  • Interrupted the interview five times to ask his Instagram followers to click that thing in the upper right corner; Gary Lambert reminded him they were on the radio; John swung the baseball bat at him.
  • Not only revealed that his penis was nicknamed “The Sloppy Jalopy,” but also explained the origin of the name. (Leaks oil.)
  • A fan of the tried-and-true radio bit, Young John Mayer made a few phony phone calls, but they were all to Katy Perry and they all ended in tears.
  • “Hello? Hi? This is, um, Bobby from Marin. Am I on the air? Wow, cool. Anyway: long-time caller, first-time listener. Could you play some Jimmy Buffett for my wife, Natasha Monster?”
  • “No, Bobby, this is Tales from the–“
  • “Dammit, I forgot to say the Phrase That Pays.”
  • And so on.
  • John Mayer is seriously contemplating getting off that fence and going Full Kimono.
  • Billy had a miniaturized tactical nuke implanted into his brain before the tour started; it detonates if the tempo goes above a certain bpm, and that’s why everything’s so slow.
  • Running out of excuses to give Mickey regarding the late night hotel drum sessions.

The Assassination Of Julius Caesar, As Recreated Using Books About The Grateful Dead

What’s wrong with you? Honestly; no joke: what is your problem?

There’s not just one.

No. Ran out of steak knives?

Why would you need more than one steak knife? How many steaks can you eat at a time?

Sure. Please stop doing this.

It’s educational!

Yeah, but not about the thing you think.

I shot according to the Dogma 95 rules, except I made the toga out of paper towel. And I didn’t have a purple marker, so I drew the stripe with the red and blue ones at the same time.

Again I repeat: what is wrong with you?

Besides the fact that I put society on trial every damn day?

Yeah, besides that.

Little bit crazy.

Yeah. Plug the book.

You mean the latest in the acclaimed 33 and a Third series written by the great Buzz Poole about one of the only halfway decent records the Dead ever made, Workingman’s Dead?

Yes. Stop making weird videos.

I’M AN ARTIST.

Not So Much Dark As Dim

We may argue (good-naturedly, of course) about the BEST EVAR Dark Star. 10/31/70? The nearly hour-long journey to the center of Rotterdam from the Europe ’72 tour? The out-of-nowhere brilliance of 1/10/79? Cleveland ’72? Cleveland ’73?

If we’re honest: the best Dark Star is the one you’re listening to at the moment.

Unless you’re listening to this one: 12/31/81 from the Oakland Auditorium. Now, I’ve not listened to most of the 90’s Dark Stars because my time on this planet is finite, but none of them can possibly be as half-assed as this version. It is the dictionary definition of “ehh, fuck it.”

The rest of the show is worth a listen (and so is the DS: a bad Dark Star is still fucking Dark Star, maaaaaan), all three sets of it.

WARNING: Joan Baez.

BONUS: the recording I’ve linked to is courtesy of FoTotD David Gans, whose wonderful oral history of the band This is All a Dream We Dreamed can be purchased right over there on the sidebar.

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