Sometimes it feels like I’m the only person in the world who knows that D.B. Cooper and the Zodiac Killer were the same person.
That’s because you just made it up.
No, no: I have evidence.
Did it get stolen?
Yes, or there was a fire. Either one. Listen: to fund his murderous rampaging and interest in cryptology, the Zodiac Killer robbed a bank and hijacked a plane.
Don’t you also believe that Jack the Ripper was hired by the Royal Family to cover up their misdeeds?
No, I don’t.
…
I believe Queen Victoria herself was Jack the Ripper.
There ya go.
I also believe Tommy Lee Jones had JFK killed.
Sure.
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