Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: grateful dead game

Play It Slow

This game thing…this goddamn game thing. I would rather have Billy speedbag my nuts while tie-dyed ninjas force me to watch them delete all the beautiful Shows from my computer and replace them with audience tapes of 1995 than have anything to do with this goddamn game thing.

First off, the site looks like CompuServe’s Brazilian-raised clone, flashy and zitty and with music that starts playing when the page opens. Genocides have been started for lesser insults than playing music I didn’t ask for when the page opens and then HIDING THE FUCKING MUTE BUTTON IN YOUR PASTEL NIGHTMARE OF A WEBSITE.

Plus: it’s SHIT music. There’s a drums>space vibe to it, but there are two problems there: 1. That’s what you want to open up with, Grateful Dead Game? The thing that even hard-core fans of the band only barely tolerated? Not, say, an upbeat catchy number? And, 2. IT’S NOT EVEN THE DEAD PLAYING. It sounds like a guy with a Korg M-1.

Okay, fine, the site looks awful. Hell, this site looks awful. But we get to play a game! Except the game doesn’t exist. Not yet. So far, we’ve just voted on the Top Ten Dead Shows Of All Time In The Universe. Guess which show won.

One More Saturday Night At The Arcade

http://gratefuldeadgame.com/

Um, are we…like…all aware  of this fuckery?

I mean…heh, heh…who are the ad wizards who came up with…holy shit, why?! WHY?

One of the selling points in the ad is “Serendipity.” The computer game where you pretend to be a tie-dye Ewok going to shows you have owned for decades but you get to pay for it is offering me “serendipity.” I might get to meet any one of the several thousand bearded weirdos that habituate every other Dead sites. Except, you know: for free, and without the implication of being a cyber-furry.

(Thoughts On The Dead says: don’t be a Cyber-Furry, kids. Furries shouldn’t have rights. Black Ford Falcons should pull up to their houses after dark and take them, away and forever. Sting could write a song about it.)