Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: jerry garcia (page 1 of 126)

But What’s Really Important…

The green one, obviously, is a VW microbus. I believe Big Red right next to the VW is a Pontiac Firebird made between 1973 and 1978–the rear end only looked like that for those five years–but I can’t see whether or not it’s a Trans Am. (All Trans Ams are Firebirds, but not all Firebirds are Trans Ams.) Brown Betty is maybe a Buick? Could be an Oldsmobile. Possibly a Chrysler.

But what’s the white one? Is it a Volvo? Sucker’s got weird lines to her.

(Oh, yeah, for the newcomers: that fellow is named Harry Mendoza. He played guitar and died.)

Cuz When You Smile For The Camera…

It’s like a denim farm exploded.

OR

I would throw these men out of Starbucks.

OR

Is Bobby playing the ‘There was a fly on your head’ game? Yes, Bobby is playing the ‘There was a fly on your head’ game.”

OR

Just don’t look at him.

OR

Ten bucks says Mickey called what he was smoking “SEE-gars.”

OR

Seriously, don’t look at him.

Finders Keepers

“Gimme my beard back.”

“What?”

“I said, ‘Gimme my–‘”

“I can’t hear you.”

“‘–beard back!’ You can hear me, dickwad.”

“What?”

“I need it, man.”

“I need it, too.”

“Can, uh, you two stop fighting?”

“Shut up, Bobby.”

“Zip it, Weir.”

Hey, Slim.

“Yeah, uh-huh. Little question.”

Get at me, dog.

“Don’t talk like that.”

You’re right. What was the question?

“Wasn’t this site about us?”

It was.

“What happened?”

I drifted.

“Well, hell, if it could happen to Omar Sharif…”

Right?

Meadow, Beddo

“Josh, slow down.”

“You’re like 40 years off, Weir.”

OR

Nothing says “professionalism” like a couch pillow lazily stuffed in a bass drum.

It’s A Pig’s World

Hey, Pig. Whatcha doing?

“Movin’!”

Yeah?

“Groovin’!”

Sure.

“Doin’ it, y’know!”

You were the hardest working man in show business.

“Nah. The ol’ Pig was lazy as sin an’ you know it! I liked to screw an’ watch teevee!”

Nothing wrong with that.

“Me an’ Garcia met the Godfather. I ever tell you this story?”

No.

“1969. Him and us was both playin’ in New York City, so we went uptown to see him. Invited us backstage, gave us cold beers, treated us real nice. Talked to the man for twenty minutes!”

About what?

“I got no idea!”

Sounds right.

“Couldn’t unnerstand a damned word!”

I’ve heard that about James Brown.

“An’ then he fined us fifty bucks apiece.”

I’ve heard that, too.

“We tried tellin’ him that we wasn’t even in his band, but he jus’ doubled the fines on us. That man ran a tight ship!”

You guys played one of his songs.

“It’s a Man’s World. Yeah, I liked doin’ that number.”

Why didn’t you do more of James Brown’s songs?

“Heh. We ain’t got the right kinda bass player.”

Nope. Why do you have two tambourines?

“You only got one, it gets lonely.”

Oh.

That’s Why We CREEP

12 seconds in. Garcia as Goofus.

Please someone come rescue me from the YouTube hole I’ve fallen into.

Overheard At The March For Our Lives

  • Let’s keep Bobby away from the teenage girls.
  • Billy, too, obviously.
  • And Phil and Mickey and why don’t we just say that all of the Grateful Deads should be kept away from the teenage girls.
  • Yes, Mrs. Donna Jean, too: she’s shitfaced on sipping whiskey and barbiturates and swinging a crowbar around.
  • The Road Crew should likewise be banned from contact with the teenage girls.
  • Why was the Grateful Dead even brought to the March For Our Lives?
  • “HEY, MAN, AW RIGHT. TEENAGE GIRLS.”
  • Oh, Goddammit, now Elvis is here.
  • Every one of you stay away from the teenagers.
  • “THEY ALL SO FRESH AN’ RIPE, MAN. LIKE HONEYDEW MELON.”
  • Stop it.
  • It’s 2018 and you can’t be…which one of you has the Time Sheath?
  • C’mon, guys: who has the Time Sheath?
  • Garcia?
  • “Buy me a pretzel, man.”
  • This was a terrible idea.

Kreutzmann Agonistes

60’s Garcia was hep; he was a real beat cat. 80’s Garcia was a mess, and 90’s Garcia was sad.

But 70’s Garcia was a cool motherfucker.

Olompali, My Lompali

Precarious?

“We couldn’t get the stage any closer to the fuel tank, if that’s what you’re gonna ask.”

It was. What’s the ladder for?

“Climbing.”

Sure.

Older posts
%d bloggers like this: