“Now, uh, did Hall adopt you when your parents died?”
“Huh?”
“You know, train you to fight crime via blue-eyed soul?”
“I wasn’t a Robin, Bobby. Daryl and I were equal partners.”
“Most Robins tell themselves that. Another question.”
“Go to it.”
“Did she actually eat the men?”
“The Maneater?”
“She’s the one.”
“No. Just a metaphor.”
“I was fairly certain. Cannibalism doesn’t seem like one of your themes.”
“It wasn’t.”
“More questions.”
“No problem.”
“Is the ‘that’ in I Can’t Go For That the same ‘that’ as in Meatloaf’s seminal I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)? Sounds like you and Meat are on the same page as far as whatever ‘that’ is.”
“Can I pass on this question?”
“Sure, sure. When you wrote Private Eyes, what came first: the music, the lyrics, or the hand claps?”
“I think I had the riff first.”
“Ah. Is the Rich Girl the one from She’s Gone?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Because that’s a reason to write a sad song right there. When a chick walks out on you, it hurts, but a rich one leaving is painful.”
“I guess, but they’re not about the same woman.”
“Missed a chance to get the Hall & Oates Universe going.”
“Again: I guess.”
CELL PHONE NOISE
“I should take this.”
“Aren’t we playing a song right now?”
…
“Weir here.”
“HAIRY GARCIA, DO YOU KNOW ELON MUSK’S NUMBER? I NEED TO PLUG MY BRAIN INTO HIS AND MAKE BEAUTY!”
…
“Oates, it’s for you.”
“Oh, I wonder who that could be. This is totes Oates.”
“OATES, I NEED YOU TO PUT ON AN RC COLA COSTUME AND SNEAK INTO DISNEYLAND WITH ME!”
“Is this Kanye? Dude, you need to see a doctor.”
“I HAVE MASTERED DOCTORISHNESS! MEDICINE IS MINE TO COMMAND! HOW ARE YOU COMING WITH THE RC COLA COSTUME?”
“I’m not.”
“DO NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY! I AM YOUR HALL NOW!”
“Hanging up.”
DIAL TONE NOISE EVEN THOUGH PHONES NO LONGER DO THAT
…
“Bobby?”
“Oates?”
“What the fuck was that?”
“That was Ye.”
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