“Holy shit, Walton. What happened to you?”
“I’m not Bill Walton, Mickey. I’ve told you four times already.”
“Then where is he?”
“I have no idea.”
“What day is it?”
“Friday.”
“Shit. I lost three days.”
“Wow. Does that happen a lot?”
“I don’t know.”
“Figures you wouldn’t, right?”
“Sure. You look nice, though. And I like your little hat. We can be friends.”
“We’ve known each other for 30 years, Mickey.”
“Marjorie Jumpinbump.”
“You think my name is ‘Marjorie Jumpinbump?’ You got literally everything wrong. Gender, ethnicity, general vibe. All wrong.”
“I didn’t want to use a Latin name. Assuming things is racist now.”
“I have a Latin name, Mick.”
“Jose Taco.”
“That‘s racist. That shit was racist shit.”
“See!? You don’t know where the line is any more!”
“What’s my name, man?”
“Primrose Bombardier.”
“What?”
“Johnny Fongool.”
“You’re clearly just making up silly names. I’m getting insulted.”
…
“Branfordito?”
“I’m leaving.”
(EDITOR’S NOTE: That man’s name is Giovanni Hidalgo, and he has played with Sammy Hagar.)
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