Hey, Billy. Whatcha doing?
“I think I’m a Big Brother now or something.”
“Helping out an underprivileged kid from the inner-city.”
“Am I being mugged?”
“World’s changing, Ass. Used to be you had to be white to be a Grateful Dead. Or at least Mexican. Now there’s a pretty chick, a black guy, and a Jew!”
First off: that is not a pretty chick, it’s John Mayer.
“Tell that to my boner.”
Second: his name is Oteil.
“Oteil’s not a Jewish name.”
The black guy!
“Makes sense. Jewish guys are named Schmucky or Lumpberg or Amir.”
Or Mickey. Mickey’s the Jew.
“Yeah? Thanks for telling me.”
BEEP BOP BEEP
What is that?
“Updating my Jew files on the ol’ Apple Watch.”
“Because it’s 2017. What am I supposed to do, write it down like a caveman?”