“And then the alien jumps down, right, and eats Harry Dean Stanton.”
“Blimey, Jer. ‘Ow’d you get away, then?”
“Pete, for the third time: this didn’t happen to me.”
“Right, right. Go on.”
“So Sigourney Weaver takes off her clothes for some reason, right? And she’s got on a pair of panties that are, like, not functional. They’re just not big enough to perform the task of underwear.”
“Blimey. Fuck her, didja?”
“Again, Pete: movie.”
“And then she blasts the sucker out of the airlock.”
“You guys have an airlock? Where? On your bus?”
“Is Entwistle around?”
“Yeah, but he’s not much of a talker.”
“I would prefer that.”
The only good thing about dying young is that you get it out of the way, and then you can go about your business without death hanging over your head; other than that, you should endeavor to become old enough to really and truly embarrass yourself.
This is from 3/28/81 at the Grugahalle in Essen, Germany, which was more precisely West Germany at the time. (“Grugahalle” is a German word that means “My lederhosen have been stolen by dark elves; Helga, bring me my Luger.”) Pete was not planning on sitting in–he didn’t bring his guitar and borrowed one of Bobby’s–and truly could not figure out where the beat was. Whatever he’s doing in the picture above may or may not be part of the reason.
(The great Jesse Jarnow sent me this pic, but we disagree on how to interpret Pete’s furtive, yet incredibly public, gesture. I said he was snooting a little tootski; JJ goes with lighting a jazz cigarette. WHAT SAY YOU, ENTHUSIASTS?)
Seriously: Pete’s got no clue. Watch:
Hey, look: it’s the Flying Karamazov Brothers. (The Trump Administration claims that they have never met with the Flying Karamazov Brothers, which is odd because no one brought it up.)
I posted the second set with Pete, but the Althea in the first set is one of the BEST EVAR.
The woman in the center of the picture thought the event was called Day on the Great Gatsby, and came as Daisy.
In a lot of ways, I can really relate to Phil: he didn’t deal with the Hiatus well, and I think it fucked with him for a long time afterwards. All the other Grateful Deads started side bands or new projects, but Phil got drunk and hung out at softball games; that’s exactly what I would have done, too.
(And the stark reality of it was that Phil didn’t have the options the other guys did had the band truly broken up: Garcia was playing with Jerry Band the next day, and Bobby would have the record company putting his face on solo albums, and good drummers can always find work. In the reality up the stairs and third door on the left, the Dead were done in ’74 and Phil kept making noises with Ned for a while, then became composer-in-residence at the College of the Redlands or some place like that.)
“You a rock star?”
“Then why you wearing sunglasses inside?”
If you can immediately picture the photo that guy is taking, and know that Deborah Koons has a plate of food on her lap that is hidden by Pete Townshend, then you have seen too many photos of the Dead.
Billy’s punching himself in the dick; he got bored, I guess.
In my heart of hearts, I wish that were a Planet Hollywood jacket on Garcia, but it probably isn’t.
“Jerrrrrrrrry. Where. Is. My. Nobel. I wan’ one. Gimme.”
“I don’t think you’re getting any sort of prize, Pete.”
“Hey. Jer. You wan’ come look a’ stuff on my ‘puter?”
This is the photograph that would scuttle any Presidential run by Billy:
“Can you explain the gesture, Mr. Kreutzmann?”
“Ahh, c’mon. It was locker room stuff! My finger was a dick! And I was banging Bobby’s pussy-fingers with it. Everybody does it! Also, this photo has been doctored by the Jews.”
Pete Townshend is so drunk he can’t make a peace sign.
Pete Townshend had shown up without his own guitar, and while he was hanging out backstage, he reached for Tiger and said, “Maybe I’ll play this one.”
No one really knows what happened next, but from cobbling together various accounts, we can say with some certainty that Garcia started screeching way louder than a human should be able to: “NOT TO TOUCH GUITAR! NOT TO TOUCH GUITAR!” and then it all turned into the security camera footage from that movie Event Horizon and Pete ended up playing one of Bobby’s guitars fairly poorly.
We all just forgot about that unpleasantness involving Mr. Townshend and his computer, didn’t we?
And you really can’t take Billy anywhere, can you?