Stagnation has set in, Enthusiasts, and I wonder if you’ve felt it. I have. Not to replace the writing, but complement and thereby rejuvenate it: I have some ideas for a podcast, if anyone’s interested.

It is this interest that I intend to gauge with this post, because I include a sales pitch: someone buy me a microphone, and I’ll do a podcast.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

HEAR ME OUT!

Quickly.

I have very good ideas for a podcast, the best ideas–

Stop that.

–but I’ve had these ideas now for a while, and they just kinda float around in my head undeveloped because I’m not doing the thing yet. But they’re good ideas. But it really has been a while, and apparently I’m just not going to get to it unless I’m forced.

I don’t like where this is going.

SO, if an Enthusiast were to buy me a mic, then I would be morally obligated to do a podcast. Maybe even legally.

Probably not legally.

Podcast law is such a new field; who can keep up? Anyway: literally the only things that get me to do things lately are shame and hunger. A podcast, if this is even a thing that the Enthusiasts desire, can be extracted from my wretchedly lazy soul only through said shame because the Enthusiasts cannot cause me hunger.

That’s a shame

Sure. I think this is a fair deal, actually. Crowdfunding sort of thing.

At least tell the nice people what the podcast will be about.

The Grateful Dead.

In the same way this blog is about the Grateful Dead?

How else could you do it?

That might not suck.

It might.

Oh, it totally might. Good shot of sucking. But an outside chance of mediocrity.

Yay!

Why are there two microphones on your begging page?

To give the Enthusiasts a choice.

What’s the difference between the two?

One’s more expensive.

Sure.