Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: precarious lee (page 2 of 9)

A Giant In His Field

I’m stunned.


Precari…oh, there you are. I assume you’re responsible for this.

“I was part of a team.”

Great. I have many questions.


Gonna start generally, and then move clockwise starting at the dude in the MAGA hat.


Why are the musicians in this arrangement?

“Intra-band politics and intra-crew apathy.”

Why is there a dude in a MAGA hat?

“Some of your time bullshit? I dunno. Fuck him.”

Is Li’l Orphan Annie okay?

“In the middle?”


“Seems fine.”

Okay, how about the teetering tower of heavy bullshit on the right?

“Started stacking shit and just kinda got into it.”

Is it gonna fall?


Is the balancing act in the middle gonna fall?

“Nah. Wait. Maybe.”

Is any cable taped down?


Is every fusebox open?


Did you forget Phil at the hotel?

“Nah. There he is.”

Oh, okay.

“Funny story, though: we forgot Phil at the hotel.”


“Uh-huh. This is Giants Stadium in ’78, right?”


“Yeah, we forgot Phil at the hotel. There’s a Sheraton or whatever right near the stadium, just across the parking lot. So, we all take the van over at two o’clock or whatever, but Phil was in the pool and got left behind.”

The pool?

“Phil liked drinking in swimming pools.”

That’s a terrible idea.

“Just beers.”


“Anyway, he gets out and dries off. We’re all gone. He’s running through the lobby naked screaming about betrayal.”


“Phil skinny-dipped.”

Of course he did.

“Security tackles him a little, but he’s all juiced up and using Nude Fu.”

Nude Fu?

“No guy wants to fight a naked guy, right?”


“So, if you’re in a situation where you’re the naked guy: use that to your advantage. Lead with your cock. Employ your buttcheeks. Turn the negative into a positive.”

Nude Fu.

“Anyway, they calmed him down and got him in some clothes. But now it’s like 3 or 3:30 and the lot’s getting pretty full of kids. Took him two hours to walk half-a-mile. Guy was getting assaulted with blowjobs.”

Why didn’t you just send the van back for him?

“Not as funny.”

Sure. Precarious?


Why does Keith’s piano have a heat shield?

“To survive reentry.”

I love our talks.

The Shock Of Genius

My God. It’s beautiful. Precarious?


Did you do that?

“The inverted pyramid of gear?”



It’s your masterpiece.

“Sometime, ya gotta challenge yourself.”


They Want To Lead The Glamorous Life



Do I want to know what’s in the sack?


Is it–

“Not a human.”

–a human? Okay.

“Just let this one go, boss.”

It’s gonna be tough.

“Suck it up.”

Mickey’s raccoons?

“Let it go.”


The Monitor And The Merriweather

Jesus. Precarious?


What the fuck, man?

“Wally wanted a little brother, so I built him the Wall of Monitors.”

It’s just so aggressive.

“It’s a bit of a bulwark.”

And what are they propped up on?

“Bunch of hotel Bibles we stole and taped together.”





What the fuck?



“We thought it provided an incongruously beautiful¬†mise-en-scene.”


“Fucking with ya. I got no idea why we put that up.”

What are the monitors propped up on?

“Pizza boxes full of sand.”

It’s the Grateful Dead way.


Fall Tour



You got the Time Sheath on you?


Can you go 20 minutes into the future and see if that speaker falls on those two kids and kills them?


“It does.”

Thought so.

I Spy With My Little Eye…

  • Classic iPod. (Behind Mrs. Donna Jean.)
  • Amazon Echo. (In between Mrs. Donna Jean and Garcia.)
  • Two iPads. (To the left of Billy and Mickey.)
  • Phil’s booty. (Behind Phil.)
  • Precarious Lee’s handiwork. (Bottom left.)



Is that a humidor?

“On top of the monitor?”


“Nope. Ashes.”

Human ashes?



“Don’t worry about it.”

Is that secure? That angle is rather…



“It’ll be fine.”

Will it?

“Should be.”

Your words don’t fill me with confidence.

“I duct taped it.”

Oh, well, then it’s fine.

“I know.”

I was being sarcastic.

“I know. Don’t care.”

That Confounded Bridge

For fuck’s sake. Precarious?


Precarious Lee, everyone.



What the hell is that?

“That’s the Dead. Choogly-type band.”

Yes, thank you. I recognized them.

“They’re easy to spot.”

But mostly I recognized your handiwork. Are those speakers?


On the right.


Are those two columns of speakers separated by a couple feet with another speaker bridging across the top?


Why, man?

“Why not?”

So, so, so many reasons.

“If someone dies, we’ll do it different next show.”

That’s your motto, isn’t it?

“Mottos are for assholes.”


He Got Around



When were you in England?

“1968, apparently.”

A chair?

“Sturdy one.”

Great job. Aren’t you in the middle of something?

“Waiting on your sloppy ass.”

Oh, right.

We’re A Two-Gong Band

“How many cables do we need, Precarious?”

“All of them.”


“All of them.”


“Put everything we own on the stage.”



They must be playing one of their bibbledy-boppidy songs that Pigpen can’t understand, because look how sad he looks with that stupid tambourine.

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