Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: ross james

Bowling With The Homies

Hey, Holly Bowling. Whatcha doing?

“Me? You have to bother me?”

Phil yells at me, Bobby has too much crap in his sweatpants, and Jim James kinda scares me a little.

“What about Ross James?”

The whole James family scares me. Beardos.


So, how you doing? I see you brought your hat.

“Leave the hat alone.”

Does it have a road case?

“Please stop talking to me. I’m concentrating.”

What are you playing?

“Dark Star.”

It’s just a jam in D minor.

“Please don’t say–”

The saddest of all keys.

“–the saddest…you’re so original.”

How’s that all-girl jam band coming together?

“It’s not. I’m very happy with my career, and I don’t need advice from you. Holy shit, do I not need advice from you.”

Oh, no. You’re right. I give terrible advice. You need a manager.

“I have a–”


“Where is that coming from? Bobby’s sweatpants?”

He really does have a lot of junk in there.


“I left my phone backstage.”

Check your hat.

“Stop making fun of my hat.”

I’m celebrating it. Check under your hat.”

“Yup. Phone.”

Told you.”

“You’re rolling with Bowling.”

“Great phone greeting, Holl. Perfect.”

“I know this rasp.”

“Holly, it’s Benjy Eisen in a chipmunk costume.”

“Where’d you get a chipmunk costume?”

“Stole it from Brent.”

“Why are you in a chipmunk costume?”

“Don’t worry about the chipmunk costume. This is not about the chipmunk costume. You’d look great in a chipmunk costume.”

“What do you want, Benjy?”

“I wanna take your career to the next level.”

“No, thank you.”

“Listen to my idea first.”


“Jam-themed holiday album.”


“It’s called Have A Holly, Holly Christmas.”


“What if I told you I could get you a sponsor?”

“A sponsor?”

“Absolutely. How do you feel about wearing a chipmunk costume onstage?”

“I’m hanging up.”

“Is Billy there?”


“Can you leave me out of your little make-em-ups, please?”

I promise nothing, Holly Bowling.

“You suck.”

Do you consider your last name to be more of a gerund or a participle?




Oh, hi, Phil.

“Fuck off!”

Your hair looks great.

“I know. Fuck off.”


Hill, Airy

This is the worst OKCupid picture I’ve ever seen.

“Shut it, jackass.”

I think the guy to your left is wearing a disguise.

“No, that’s just what he looks like.”

Why does Grahame have to stand all the way over there?

“He knows why.”


“Gonna replace him with Baby Levon the second I can.”

Sure. Phil?


Are you sure about this?

“The customers love it.”

Yeah, but last year you went insane.

“And now I’m back. Besides, I solved the problem.”

Which was that numerous people were pooping on the bocce courts.

“Won’t happen again.”

You sound sure.


Oh, fuck.

“They’re not lethal unless you’re reeeeally small.”

Like a child?

“Children don’t play bocce.”

No, but they play in sandboxes.

“My plan may have a flaw.”

Little bit.

“I need to get off this fucking hill. Grahame, carry your father down the hill.”

“Aw, Daaaaad.”



I’m Right, You’re Left, He’s Ross

The confusion over Phil’s handedness continues. Does he bat lefty? Does he skateboard goofy-footed? Which hand–

Don’t say it.

–does he play with his seastones with?

You said it.

I’m asking the important questions.


Not Pictured: Billy, just out of frame, dipping his cock-and-balls into ink and smacking the whole mess onto the posters.

“There ya go! Like a royal seal!”


The woman in the background stared at the metal barricade for two hours.


Ross James is a wonderful guitarist, but he’s an odd choice for a security guard.

Phil Is The Meat In A Sandwich Of Beard

Phil’s live from TXR, which means that everything’s right in the world. Right?

Ross James And Two Other Guys


Hey, who’s that shaggy guitarist standing next to Phil? He looks so familiar.


It’s Bobby!  (And Ross James playing an utterly gorgeous what-looks-to-a-Gibson ES-150, but Ross James is at Terrapin Crossroads all the time, so he does not get an exclamation point.) Phil is to the right, and the three of them played an acoustic set; Deadheadland provides us with pictures and a set list, and if you’re not following Deadheadland on your social media platform of choice, then you don’t know what’s going on in Deadhead Land. It’s that simple. (Plus, he’s got videos of the afternoon’s music over there. Go, watch, enjoy. I’ll be here when you’re done. I won’t be lonely. Abandon me. I’ll lie down and die like an animal. I’m fine.)

This was for a ceremony honoring something. The backyard of TXR and the city of San Rafael are now partners, or maybe one bought the other. Has Terrapin Crossroads been named a national park? I have no idea: the point I am trying to get across is that something happened. People were happy, and proud; a representative from the city may or may not have made a statement.


Another shot of some hippies playing in the park in the middle of the afternoon.

Of note: the trio played for 35 minutes, which means each of Phil’s bass pedals got seven minutes to itself; Phil has fully committed to his Apple Watch; Red Metal Stool did not make the gig.


Another shot in which we learn that the three played Monkey and the Engineer and On the Road Again, which Bobby sang; and Ripple and Friend of the Devil, which Bobby and Phil shared vocals on. We also learn that Bobby and Phil get bottles of water, but Ross James receives no water. Sorry, Ross James: water is for Grateful Deads. We learn further that the roof of Phil’s outdoor stage has been built in a way to enhance hallucinogens. We finally learn that the stage is well-protected by those metal stanchions with the nylon straps stretched between them. (The nylon is of Italian import.)

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