Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: september

Who Says A Basic Bitch Can’t Play The Funk Music?

We’ve found it, Enthusiasts. The 800-pound gorilla of Sincere Acoustic Covers; the silverback that turned Dian Fossey into a woman; an ape whose cape King Kong wouldn’t tug upon. We have ourselves a winner, folks, and yes the song is not truly all acoustic, but it does have whiteness in spades, and whiteness is truly the most necessary component of the SAC.

Is it breathy? Oh, it is breathy.
Is it slow? Slower than a dead turtle.
Are there banjos? Fetch Granny her girdle, thar be banjos.
And does Taylor mean it? She means it, maaaaaan.

I don’t mean to sound overly dramatic, but this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to black people. I am including slavery and that time the Urkelbot ran amok in Indianapolis. They are owed reparations for this bullshit here; the song may in fact be a hate crime.

But I don’t hate you. Cleanse your palate with funk:

Remember, Remember, The 21st Of September

It’s not every day you live in a song, Enthusiasts, and certainly not one this good.

(What other tunes mention specific dates? There’s a passel of Fourth of July songs–Bruce, and X, and even one by the band this website purports to be about–and there must be a Christmas song or two that mentions the 25th, but besides that? I’m not looking it up and neither should you. Let’s freeball this one.)

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