Image result for tony iommi 1970Hey, Tony Iommi.

“Hullo.”

You’re scary.

“This is me most frightful satin kimono. Dinna mean tae scare ya.”

Just a little.

“Well, ‘old yer ‘ead up, me son.”

You accent seems to be all over those rainy islands you people call home.

“I am being written by someone who has no idea what a Northern accent sounds like.”

That’ll do it. Anyway, Tony Iommi: you’ve most likely got an open schedule Why didn’t you get an audition for Dead & Company.”

“We’ve got such different styles of music. Also, and I don’t like to speak badly about anyone except Dio and Ozzy and Bill Ward and Geezer Butler and Ozzy’s wife and Meatloaf, but the Grateful Dead are…”

Yes?

“Well…”

Out with it?

“They are intimidated by my mustache.”

mickey mustaches young“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY, IOMMI?”

pig scruffy porsche
“That scurvy dog start flapping his gums ’bout mustaches? We gots to show the man some American muscle!”

bpbby crazy official
“Bring that limey fuck to me. He kicked the puppy and now he gets the Weirwolf.