- Immediate gratification is your right as a child of God.
- Always have a scapegoat in mind.
- If they’re not trying to get you now, they soon will be; beat them to the punch.
- Beat them; punch them.
- Don’t think about money, just make it.
- Defenestrate ambidextrists.
- Moralize about others; rationalize about yourself.
- Steal dogs.
- If you can learn to forgive yourself, you’ll never need to apologize.
- Yell at facts if they won’t do what you want.
- Wait for inspiration.
- In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man can get away with anything (as long as he’s quiet).
- There’s an enormous spectrum in between the absolute truth and an utter lie, and you have to find out where you’re comfortable residing within that spectrum.
- Question motives.
- Suspect allegiances.
- Good manners can be a weapon.
- People love it when you give them nicknames.
- Demand credit for changing your mind.
- There are many in the world with problems far greater than your own, but fuck them.
- Transcend humility.
- Remember that money fixes everything.
- Feign dignity.
- Live like Bono’s watching.
- Pretend you’re a wizard sometimes.
- Insist.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
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Facts are lazy and facts are late.
Facts are useless in emergencies
Same as it ever was
Wind in my heart,
Dust in my head