Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Bear Was Yellow, And The Bear Was Blue

“Jenkins!”

“Yes, sir?”

“If I starred in homosexual pornography, I’d be named Rich Moisture.”

“Please stop masturbating to the weather report, sir.”

“Never! Now: the poster.”

“The poster.”

“Here’s what I’m thinking: everything.”

“Everything what, sir?”

“Every piece of Dead-related bullshit at once. Anything that’s ever been an album cover, or a lot shirt, or a tramp stamp. I knew a woman who had the entire first chapter of Gravity’s Rainbow tattooed on her lower back. Wasn’t that thoughtful?”

“Sir?’

“You could get educated and get off at the same time.”

“But you wouldn’t know how it ends.”

“It ends with stickiness, Jenkins.”

“Not the getting off. The book.”

“Ah. Post-modern nonsense. I’m a Hemingway man myself.”

“Ernest?”

“Mariel.”

“Sure. The poster, sir.”

“The poster! Everything, Jenkins. Like a bouillabaisse made out of intellectual properties.”

“Bears?”

“Bears.”

“Turtles?”

“Turtles.”

“Skeletons?”

“As many as you can fit on the page. Bone me up, Jenkins. Bone time. Gimme that bone, gotta have it.”

“I’m pretending to write this all down, sir.”

“Oh, and have one of the skeletons holding up Donald Trump’s bloody head.”

“Terrible idea, sir.”

“In what way?’

“Every way. Every single way.”

“Just for a goof.”

“It won’t end well, sir.”

“Well, whose bloody head should the skeleton hold up, then?”

“No one’s?”

“What about Garcia?”

“No, sir. The skeleton should not be holding up Jerry Garcia’s decapitated head on the poster for the Dead & Company show.”

“Bobby?”

“None of the Dead. Alive or deceased. No one, sir. No heads at all.”

“You just can’t have fun any more.”

“No, sir.”

“Thanks, Obama.”

4 Comments

  1. Bush-league. (…or, as your President would probably say, “Bushly.”). There should be a Stealie for a hood ornament.

  2. I once had an email exchange with that wall of sound chemist discussing Steely Dan in general and Kid Charlemange specifically. He dismissed SD as pop.

    I can only guess what he would think of Josh Meyers and DeadMart.

  3. NoThoughtsOnDead

    June 1, 2017 at 5:22 pm

    I personally appreciate the use of the CA Highway 1 sign in the poster. True, it’s CA-2 that runs remotely close to The Bowl, but if there’s a sunset and the terrapins in the back are singing and playing… you want to be on Highway 1!

    • Luther Von Baconson

      June 1, 2017 at 7:28 pm

      been dodging freeway on ramps on foot all night. missed the first set, due to line ups, which wasn’t so bad as helped a Family chug wine that wasn’t allowed in (they did have a place where you could leave your cooler, bottle etc for later). $16 per 32 oz Bud Lights. bacon wrapped dogs. $5 minkman Dead & co shirts as you approach Cahuenga, as far as Franklin. weird night, band was a little off (though a solid help>slip>franklin) overcast foggy, i think people didn’t have their mind quite right. bomb threat was a curious addition to he’s gone. should be better tonight, sun came out late afternoon. the people have been hanging out and exploring the sights all day, so they should have their head in the right place. oh saw Richard Riehle at Fred 62. he was having scrambled, sausage & hash browns. really digs jam and the NY Times.

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