Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Curious Case Of The Bob In The Man-Skirt

In an unprecedented, never-before-seen, brand-new, first-time–

Stop that.

–move, loyal Enthusiasts and TotD’s nagging doubts have forced me to repost a picture and examine it further. As Captain Kirk would say, “My Sherlock-sense is tingling!”

I hate you. 

bobby holy shit

We’re in the 80’s: this much we can know for certain. After that, we have no more facts: just supposition, hearsay, and a driving passion to understand beyond saying, “crazy people do crazy shit,” and walking away.

Let’s note whatever solid evidence we can before coming to a conclusion:

  • Um.
  • Well, y’see…
  • Drummer’s having the time of his life.
  • Ahhhh. Huh.
  • Got nothing over…wait: no.
  • Lot of flowers.
  • I’d say it seems warm, but Funky Doug, the Denim Thug over there begs to differ.
  • Seriously, man: roll up your sleeves, live a little. Singer’s wearing a skirt, seems like anything-goes is the prevailing ethos.
  • Godammit, there’s a saxophone.

And then there’s Bobby in what might be the least manly ensemble assembled since RuPaul got sent home from the pep rally because she made all those basic cheerleader bitches jelly. Mad jelly, yo

Get back to the matter at hand.

I DON’T WANT TO! I don’t understand what in god’s asshole is going on here. At first, I thought Bobby was on vacation, which would explain the ridiculous outfit because the only reason white people go on vacation is to wear ridiculous outfits and day drink

Now you’re saying, “TotD, Bobby was in the Grateful Dead: he was not only allowed to wear ridiculous outfits, he took full advantage of the privilege often.”

Good point, Straw Enthusiast, but I will point out that there were limits to the extent of ridiculosity: during the Sweatpant Years, you know damn well that Phil wanted with all his heart to walk onstage in his boxers and socks. But he didn’t. And Bobby wouldn’t have worn the skirt.

If it is a skirt. Are they just shorts with a goofy fold and unpropitious lighting? Or is a full-on, damn-the-torpedos sarong? The sarong–if that’s the case–fits the flowers, right?

PLUS the guitar. This era marks the beginning of the period when Bobby went instrument shopping at the Guitar Center of Misfit Toys, but a gold-plated Telecaster is a bit much. That thing looks like Pablo Escobar wanted to get the band back together.

Okay, so: borrowed guitar, flowers, vacation outfit. He’s in Bora Bora or some place way better that only Bohemian Grove members know about called Bora Bora Bora Bora and he jumped up onstage with the band to bash out some old Chuck Berry tunes and: hey what the fuck, the band knows it, why not play it, and they all kick into One More Saturday Night and a great time is had by all.

Except not.

Because that’s not where the band plays at a resort that Bobby fucking Weir goes to, is it? With the exposed wiring and bare brick walls? In fact, is that a resort anyone goes to? It looks like a drop-in center for Swedish youths. (“We needed to give the kids something to do besides blürgen and flürgen their lives away.”)

So: Bobby’s in a skirt, we have no answers, the Swedish teens will be here soon, and someone’s gonna start playing that fucking saxophone any second.

You got anything?

 

1 Comment

  1. whatever the garment, and i really am not sure, the fabric is a drapey sandwashed silk. the whole thing is problematic.

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