Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Daily Recounting 3/8/17

Obama’s pissed. Remember Barack Obama? Tall, dark, Muslim? You remember Obama. Apparently, a day-old newspaper washed up onto the shore of Richard Branson’s private island, and Obama saw that The Greatest President Of All Time® had been talking shit.

Again I address the Younger Enthusiast to remind them of the Days Before. Presidents didn’t criticize each other, at least not directly. Their aides and spokesmen would obliquely blame problems on the last administration, but the guy in the Oval Office would never speak badly about his predecessor: there’s a large difference between “We were left with a lot on our plate,” and “The black guy should be in jail.” Nor did the former president snipe at the man doing the job, but that usually wasn’t an issue as presidents used to die within a few years of leaving office. Eight of them didn’t make it out of the office at all.

Obviously, this isn’t in the Constitution: it was just a tradition, like releasing your tax returns or your wife not hating you so much that she insists on living in a different city. Maybe we should have seen this coming, is what I’m saying.

(SILVER LINING: Hillary Clinton’s loss means that male pronouns can still be used when referring to all of our commanders-in-chief. That’s something, huh?)

Today was International Women’s Day. Yesterday was International Woman’s Day; the woman this year was Amal Clooney, who is a very international woman. Ladies went on strike all across the country–dozens of schools had to close–to protest the current administration. Women feel that Trump and the hyenas wearing human skin surrounding him are sexist. This feeling is partially based on “women’s intuition,” and partially based on specific statements and proposed legislation.

Mostly the intuition thing, though. You know how chicks are: ruled by their emotions, prone to starting drama, attention-starved, and covered in makeup.

Many female celebrities weighed in with their female celebrity thoughts.

(SILVER LINING: Someone distracted the fuckhead and he only sent out two incredibly hypocritical tweets, as opposed to the twelve he could have sent out regarding Meryl Streep’s tits (“Merrill Street has bad (or sick) tits. Sad!”).)

The AARP and the AMA have pledged to fight Trumpcare, as have the Club for Growth and the Heritage Foundation; that plan’s getting dicked from both sides, poor thing. (Unless the plan is into that, in which case: you do you, health plan.)

Plus, to build the wall (which is not getting built), the dunce wants to cut funding to the Coast Guard and airport security. The proper metaphor here is “selling the glass from your windows to buy a deadlock for the front door.”

This has been the 47th day of our national nightmare; may we wake up soon.

1 Comment

  1. Some days I am not so sure we get through this in any worthwhile manner.

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