Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Daily Recounting 4/13/17

Aye, sir. With Poseidon’s blessing, our mighty armada will make Siracusa by dawn. And what of our archers, Sire? Shall they muster by the granary and ready themselves for the march?

You shiteating clown.

But, Enthusiasts, the so-called president is not the dumbest human on the planet today. No, instead we have a yammerer: Fareed Zakaria is an actor who plays an intellectual on teevee. He can speak extemporaneously in full paragraphs, which is very impressive until you read a transcript and realize he didn’t say anything. And if he did make a point, it was probably someone else’s. (Fareed likes to copy off the kid next to him.) He describes himself as “radical centrist” which is true when it comes to bothering the Middle East: Fareed will simply not hear of not bothering the Middle East, but on the other hand you don’t want to bother it too much. Weirdly enough, all three of the last presidents found Fareed’s sweet spot.


“Based on the intelligence, it’s the right move.”


“The strategy is working. We need to give it some time.”


“Oh, God, I’m gonna cum.”

Fareed’s a real asshole.

Anyway, he wrote this in the Washington Post today because while democracy dies in darkness, it will die via dipshits.

  1. Shut the fuck up.
  2. Every policy he has pursued so far has been objectively wrong, evil, and dangerous. Just because this particular wrong, evil, and dangerous is your fetish doesn’t make it okay, you imperialist goon.
  3. People didn’t call you a shithead because of “Trump Derangement Syndrome” (or as others call it “being observant”), they called you a shithead because you chose the impulsive, slapdash, and ultimately ineffective bombing of a newly-abandoned air base to proclaim Trump presidential. You flat-out said that dropping bombs makes you the president.
  4. Shithead.
  5. Is he a cancer or should we evaluate him impartially?  Fareed Zakaria: world’s worst oncologist.
  6. Fareed Zakaria masturbates to footage of nuclear tests.


  1. Jesus Christ. I cannot fucking take another day of this insanity. Every day, the never-ending steady hum of bullshit. It is giving us a collective case of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Clinical Depression, and low-grade Sociopathy. There has to come a breaking point soon; people cannot lie to themselves indefinitely, pretending that were not in a car careening towards the guardrail with our racist grandfather clutching his chest at the wheel.

    This cannot end well; we’re beyond the point of no return, but we’re too scared to face that fact.

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