Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Evidence That Katy Perry Is Actually JonBenet Ramsey

  • They have never been seen in the same room. Nor have they ever been pictured together, and are you going to tell me that JonBenet would not have loved to take a photograph with Katy? There would be TONS of photographs of the two of them together, but they are none. Therefore: they are the same person.
  • Both have birthdays; while not the same day or year, the fact remains: they both have birthdays. Can you explain that?
  • A recently unearthed interview with JonBenet reveals that her answer to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” was “I want to be a singer with boobies, and wear clothes, and date.” That’s very specific. Either JonBenet was a psychic or she was a tenacious girl who faked her own death so she could be Katy Perry.
  • Okay, just common sense on this one: how else could you be Katy Perry unless you were also JonBenet Ramsey? HOW DOES THAT WORK? You can’t do that. There’s no way to be Katy Perry unless you were once JonBenet Ramsey. Why won’t you see the truth?
  • Katy Perry owns many tiaras.
  • If you rearrange the letters the letters in “JonBenet Ramsey” and exchange them with other letters, then that spells “Katy Perry.” This has been in front of our eyes the whole time, people.
  • I forgot to mention this, but during that interview, JonBenet was also asked about boys. She responded, “I like ’em tall and douchey,” and IF THAT ISN’T A CLUE, THEN THERE ISN’T ONE.


  1. Yeah you…..

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