Hey, Pope Francis. Whatcha doing?

“I got-a da bambino!”

Yeah, look at that.

“Gonna make-a him da Lil’ Pope. He’s-a gonna be my Robin.”

Popes don’t get Robins.

“Batman, he got-a da costume and he got-a da car. Just-a like me. Now I got-a da Robin, too.”

Where did his parents go?

“They still-a on Lesbos. Robins can’t-a have parents. Is-a distracting. Gonna teach-a him gymnastics and-a make him wear-a da little Pope suit.”

Your Holiness.

“He’s-a gonna be da Mini-Pope.”


“I could-a name him after me.”


“Pope-a, Jr.”

Please stop this. Give that child back.

“You-a know I’m-a just kidding. I brought-a da whole family back-a with me.”

Right. You went to the island of Lesbos, which is home to tens of thousands of refugees, and ended up bringing back 12 families who are going to live at the Vatican.

“Is-a cheaper by-a the dozen.”


“I-a was gonna get a few, but-a you save so much buying in-a bulk.”

What are you going to do with these people?

“I’m-a gonna move them in right-a next to Benedict’s-a place.”

Did you take in refugees just to mess with Pope Benedict.


Nice work.

“Dominus vobiscum.”

Back atcha. Pope?


What was the name of the island again?

“Is-a called Lesbos.”

And someone from there would be called?

“I-a see what-a you doing. Stop-a that.”

Sorry, Pope.

“I-a forgive you.”