- Thunder.
- Thunder is bullshit and it frightens me and I can’t even imagine what the cavemen went through when there was a thunderstorm; i know what it is and it still scares me.
- After a second’s reflection, I now realize that I have no idea why thunder happens, but I still hate it so much.
- All the movie monsters from the 80’s: Freddy and Jason and Michael Myers and Candyman and Pumpkinhead and the rest of them.
- I was also afraid of many VHS box covers at the Video Library, for example: the murderous Santa arm with an axe emerging from a chimney, or the grinning skull on the cover of Faces of Death.
- (This is an old and well-worn point, but Faces of Death was out in front where children were actively encouraged to look at it by the surly weirdo employees of Video Library, but the fuck flicks were in the backroom, and that just evinces the strange relationship with reality that humans have.)
- Bodies of water I cannot see the bottom of.
- Being muddy.
- Spiders, de facto.
- (De jure, I am completely for spiders: there are thousands of varieties and each has adapted its own way to hunt, plus they eat things I hate. In real life, though? Get that spider away from me or I will slap you, hard, and on your testicles.)
- The kind of steps that don’t have risers, so any of the assorted basement monsters could just reach a claw through and slice your Achilles tendon and there go your NBA dreams.
- Never knowing true love.
- Never knowing what human flesh tastes like.
- Peepholes.
- OMIGOD FUCK PEEPHOLES.
- It’s not that I think people can see in; I think that when I look out, there will be a clownmonster standing there.
- Or Billy.
- Having to throw a football in public.
- Hospitals.
- Turning into a wendigo.
- Appearing fancy-schmancy in any way.
- Terrordactyls.
Thunder??? Thunder?????????? THUNDER??????? YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA FOR SHIT’S SAKE
Having to throw a football in public oh my god im screaming
and the bodies of water thing. dude. I literally woke up screaming one time because I had a dream that I was being attacked by these giant monstrous ravens in a body of water whose bottom I could not see. The ravens didn’t bother me: it was the water. I’m getting freaked out rn.
ps ur old
if the thunder don’t get you………..
stop being a bully and fear-shaming me.
oh lol are my comments not going through?
They are and they are hurting my feelings.
SWEET
i posted the same comment like 3 times but it varied each time so yeah thats embarrassing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVpfHgC3ye0 use this to calm ur fears
i did not know that you had NBA dreams. this is causing cognitive dissonance.
Played a few years in the developmental league.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5qumi6k9V4
im sorry
leaving 4ever
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jewish_basketball_players
this might be the first time you’ve got me coming up dry with a savage comeback
you win this round……….. bUT THE FITE IS NOT OVER
https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8097/8538578352_3d2be9889e.jpg
http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2011/0817/grant_g_lithuanianbball_576.jpg
actually really hot tbh………………….
and my dad had the Lithuania shirt for a long time and he trashed it so I’m sad that I can’t have it
sorry for getting my panties in a bunch BUT WAIT. HOW DO THEY KEEP THE YARMULKES ON WHEN THEYRE PLAYING BASKETBALL.
Staples
e n o u gh
iM SERIOUS. THERE WAS A KID AT MY SCHOOL WHO WOULD WEAR A TOY STORY OR A NASA YARMULKE TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY AND IT NEVER SLIPPED OFF.
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/i2et7/how_do_bald_jewish_men_keep_their_yarmulkes_on/ was actually not disappointed at all
maggie would never!
https://youtu.be/H70ybZlB19Y
bye
Maggie is being anti semitic
IM NOT ANTI SEMITIC I HAD A CRUSH ON A JEWISH BOY ONCE THEREFORE MY HANDS ARE CLEAN
ps im not actually this mean in real life I can’t believe I allow myself to say these things online I AM A CELEBRATOR OF DIVERSITY AND ALL THINGS IN BETWEEN *bows*
I know she wouldn’t
https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/biography/gasser.html
So you’re a ghost, Spencer?
Dude, killing spiders is one of the few uses the wimmens have for us men.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cwQpaVJzPY
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/15442/they-live-o.gif
R.I.P Rowdy
Haha. Saw the Piper wrestle in Poughkeepsie in 80s. Not a WWF fan. I got dragged there by office mates. But Andre the Giant was there too! woohoo.
the Bargain Harold’s where I grew up had a pair of Andre the Giant’s overalls on the wall behind the cash register. they were autographed & look well worn ie very tired pants, grimy. also in Phil Esposito’s autobiography, he mentions walking in on Andre the Giant making hey hey with a few ladies in a hotel room (musta been some sort of NHL Pro Wrestling Orgy?). Phil made it a point to say that Andre was “hung like a cashew”
The Giant “hung like a cashew”. … Irony of ironies.
And Esposito, Hell Yeah!! Reminds me of the heady days when Boston used to trounce Montreal. (shhhh, don’t tell spenser) haahha
R.I.P Bargain Harolds
No habitant pea soup for me. Red Wings
stop throwing cold pea soup on my jokes. hahahah
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvax20FkoZ1qhn53v.gif
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neal_Walk
Awesome cool basketball jew.
https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t31.0-8/p720x720/10694441_819399764770974_1308947174569828431_o.jpg
I’m logging off the internet forever.
I’ll remember you all in therapy.
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-34374-Spongebob-finger-guns-gif-back-hxSv.gif
Mags breaks this promise in 3.2.1.
Say hello to your new roommate Mags
https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/10702072_815267791850838_9104388846281245371_n.jpg?oh=a9756d52621808948aa33d40dd952595&oe=564D9044
You guys here never fail to make me laugh and kind of squeal like a little animal or something because it’s just so sweet how nice and witty you all are thanks v much tbh
back to my normal self: IM CALLING THE POLICE
Breaking down the X & O’s like Wooden
https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/p640x640/10888711_892490744128542_8598437899038483767_n.jpg?oh=3285e00db76b1cd1846deb61e748c68f&oe=564CD5B1
He looks like Scott Baio in that picture
ABC After School Special. The Boy Who Caught Footballs Too Much. Lance Kerwin as his non-football catching buddy.
You are the only other person I’ve ever heard mention the stairs with no risers phobia. I’ve had it forever.
LAZY CARPENTRY CAUSES TERROR
When we lived on Long Island our 100-year-old house had these beautiful stairs but they were uncarpeted and I fell face down them TWICE when between the ages of five and seven because they were really slippery and dangerous and I still have a very small facial scar from it so I get ur hatred of stairs (mine is of all kinds)
(P.S. I know what carpentry is and that carpentry doesn’t really have anything to do with carpets.)
#run-on sentences ftw lol
Kids love climbing fire towers. Good weekend for a family excursion. hahaha
http://www.fs.usda.gov/Internet/FSE_MEDIA/fsbdev3_068283.jpg