You might be having a wonderful summer, but not so for some families in Florida this year.

Y’see, when you step out of an air-conditioned car or building into the 90% humidity of a Florida summer, your glasses instantly fog up, leaving you blind.

So say a prayer for the woman in Sarasota who exited her car and stepped right in front of a bus. Spare a moment for the guy in Palm Beach County who walked out of his house, couldn’t see, and got eaten by an alligator. Think about the man in Tampa who fogged up and walked directly in front of a bus driven by alligators. (Florida is a right-to-work state.)

Just today, over 8,000 people will die, be eaten, or die and be eaten because their glasses fogged up.


Send really good marijuana to me. That will help, probably.