Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Garcias Of Madison County



Oh, no.

“I’m Sailor Garcia.”

In that outfit?

“The Garcias have been talking.”

Oh, good.

“We’ve decided to take your whining as a challenge and see how little sense we could make.”

Could you not do that?

“Perhaps. Let me ask Unfuckable Garcia.”

sexy beard garcia


You’re Unfuckable Garcia?


I don’t get it. Do you stink or something?

“I smell like a pine tree smoking a pipe.”


“Introduce me!

Who said that? Why are there more of you?

dom deluise

“Who’s that young strapping lad? I need an assistant, and he looks smart.”


“Of course, he’ll have to follow the dress code.”

Put his shirt on?

“Take his pants off.”

Ah. And which Garcia are you?

“I’m Dom DeLuise.”

The real Dom DeLuise?

“The one and only.”

Big fan.

“Of course you are.”

sailor beard

“Yar, I be th’ true Sailor Garcia! Th’ fiend above lifted my name!”

I don’t care.

“You didn’t even notice the cat in my beard.”

Oh, wow, cool. Still: fuck off. I was talking to Dom DeLuise.

“The fat dago is a-circling the cabin boy in hopes of sodomizing him.

Please don’t say things like that.

“I’m from the past!”

Go back there!

jerry young beard bad hair

“I told you to stop doing this shit, man.”

Oh, hey, Garcia. Whatch–

“Don’t give me that ‘whatcha up to’ shit. Knock it off.”

I’ve been trying.

“Try harder.”


    • Spencer..

      Glad that our pretend fight over the video blogs is past.

      Your Garcia powers are impressive.

      A vine or GIF of someone doing the classic garcia glasses re-adjustment would be the holy grail of Garcias, you know the single finger push up the nose to readjust after glasses slip from looking down and sweating.

  1. Luther Von Baconson

    April 11, 2016 at 11:26 am

    don quixickles

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