Hey, Phil. Rando?
He looks friendly.
“He actually smells friendly, too.”
What does friendly smell like?
“Stew simmering on a pot, maybe a little essence of vanilla.”
If you say so. Hey, you see Fogerty?
“I’ve been successfully avoiding John Fogerty since 1970. Got it down to a science by now. No one avoids John Fogerty like me.”
Not a fan?
“You ever hear him get interviewed?”
“Well, that’s when he’s on his best behavior. Just the most miserable son of a bitch you’ll ever meet. Only thing worse than him was that band of his.”
Creedence was bad?
“Imagine the Three Stooges, but malevolent. I think the bass player was only partly human. Looked like something that escaped from Dulce Base. Used to rub up on foreign cars. Unpleasant in every way.”
Run Through The Jungle’s still a pretty kick-ass tune.
You should dye your hair like his.
“Pass. I think he uses house paint.”
I’d think about it. You go chestnut, it could take five years off.
“So I’d only look 72? Fuck off.”
I love our give-and-take.
“No, seriously: fuck off.”