Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Ice Cream Kid

What the hell is this?

“It is me reward f’r being a good lad, it is.”

You talking about the ice cream or the girl?

“That’s right.”

I heard you went to Lock’n.

“Pitiful. Simply pitiful. Who’s the great big oily tit?”

The one that plays guitar?

“‘E won’t stop playing guitar, more like it. I found the amount o’ soloing oppressive, and I knew Garcia. At least when ‘e was playing, ‘e wasn’t singing. Like a minstrel act.”

That’s a harsh accusation, Sam Cutler.

“You know I’ve seen actual blackface, right, me son? They did it in England up until the mid-80’s. Slade performed all blacked up f’r their first two records.”

I don’t know if that’s true.

“An’ than there were cover bands. Like down the pub. Playin’ the same kinda guitar as Garcia an’ all that clobber. I was physically ill, I was. Were I a river, I would’ve flowed from the area, but I am sadly not, and so I had to listen to the bollocks.”

You’re very judgemental.

“You know ‘oo I am, right?”


“I was there, me son. Wherever ‘there’ was, I was present.”

You weren’t at Woodstock.

“Too true, because I was managing the Rolling Stones at the time.”

That is a very good excuse.

“Too true.”

Was there anything at Lock’n you liked?

“There is a queue of food trucks, and bugger me if each one isn’t tastier than the last.”

Good answer.

“I’m Sam Cutler.”


  1. Slade.

  2. Went to Lockn in 2015, the food trucks were great then, probably greater now.

    Still it would take even better food trucks to get me to go back.

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