Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Man In The Mask

deadandco jm jc billy mickey mask

The Dead or What’s Left of ‘Em have hit Colorado, where marijuana is legal. If I were Colorado, I would be fighting as hard as possible to keep marijuana illegal everywhere else so I could be the Vegas of doobies. Instead of casinos and drinks, there would be comfortable chairs and plentiful appetizers and jam bands every night.

Assorted notes:

  • Even with the gas mask on, Mickey is still not wearing the dopiest headcovering.
  • Take that shmata off, Young John Mayer.
  • Speaking of hats, Billy has grown very attached to Red Rider up there.
  • The best-looking guitar amp is four Marshall stacks; the second-best-looking is a tweed amp.
  • These men are high.
  • Not trying to blow up anybody’s spot over here, but: these guys are high as fuck.
  • Billy may or may not also be drunk.
  • Careful observation will reveal that Mickey is wearing a sweatband under his sweatsuit.
  • Good work, Mickey.
  • Completely empty or full arenas look much smaller than arenas with a few people scattered throughout the stands.
  • Jeff Chimenti’s hair is spun from childhood dreams and first loves.
  • You might be able to substitute one of Jeff Chimenti’s strands of hair for the usual unicorn hair used in one of Ollivander’s magic wands and still get some magic out of the sucker.
  • If you floss with a hair from Jeff Chimenti, then you will never get another cavity.
  • Speaking hair, John Mayer just turned 38.
  • Not one grey.
  • Just saying.
  • Billy’s sweater looks very soft and pettable, but if you pet Billy, he will punch you in the dick.
  • Unless you are a stone-cold fox and pet him on his dick.
  • Billy’s fine with that.
  • How long were they in Colorado before Mickey had smoked so much weed that he’d gotten bored with the normal methods of ingestion and started gas-masking?


  1. Can we place bets on the mask coming out during space ?

  2. Some dudes look better with age. Most do, I think.

    Except for John Mayer. John Mayer looks like a wet cigarette.

  3. Baaah…Somebody is getting punched in the dick..

  4. The comments section makes my heart swell. I love u, comments section fam.

  5. Agreed, I can’t last a day without the self aware comment section.

  6. It has been a great run of posts for ToTD.. bravo sir, you are nailing the pitches like Dock Ellis, with flames an audible swooshing sound and the occasional sonic boom.

    I have not been as excited since I got the invite to Wally’s wedding.


  7. Any Chuck Brodsky fans here? The man is a tremendously underrated singer-songwriter.

  8. Here’s the thing about Dock Ellis and his famous no-hitter-on-LSD: baseball is a game of adjustment and repetition. When a player has a good game–he gets three hits or goes six shutout innings–he tends to repeat whichever adjustments he made prior to the good game. If he lifted his back foot and went 3-for-5, he will lift his back foot for the next game or games, until it stops working. Because that’s how sports goes.

    Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter on LSD. How did the next game go? If he pitched straight, what did he do the next time he got shelled? Did he drop some more acid? Try mescaline instead? Most baseball players would. Too bad no one asked him before Dock moved to the big bullpen in the sky.

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