“Look what the busboys got me for Christmas!”
“I’m a muchacho.”
“Yes. I’m mucho macho. That makes me a muchacho. Simple math.”
You’re not doing math: you’re mangling Spanish.
“Useful hat, too. Like a Swiss Army Sombrero. Need something to dance around? I got ya. Wanna go shoplifting? Easy with this baby.”
Don’t shoplift, Phil.
“Don’t order me around. I’m not your busboy.”
“I got three of ’em jammed up in here.”
“Same reason I got a spare tire in the trunk of the car: emergencies happen. I’d rather have three busboys in my giant sombrero and not need them then need three busboys in my giant sombrero and not have them.”
That is technically logical.
“And since I got it, Jill hasn’t lost me in a crowd.”
You’re not married yet in this picture.
“No, but I got the hat when I was married. Time frays, unravels, tangles, and reknots. Keep up.”