CELL PHONE NOISE
“Please hold for the president.”
Jenkins, is that you?
“Leave me out of this storyline, please. I’ve got the president.”
“There are many complications.”
Hello to you, too, President Katy Perry.
“No time for peasantry.”
“No, I was calling you a peasant.”
“Things have gotten weird in the White House.”
Wait, you’re doing this in the White House? You couldn’t find a secret base? Or just a storage facility in Alexandria? Literally anywhere but the White House?
“Compared to the stuff Taft did in here, this is nothing.”
Leave Taft out of this. What’s the sitrep?
“Did you feel manly saying that?”
I totally did.
“Doctor Gary has made a breakthrough.”
He got 1993 Donald Trump to unfreejack 2016 John Mayer?
“Are we assuming a familiarity with that film that doesn’t really exist?”
Can we concentrate?
“Oh my God, can I concentrate! I can concentrate like a tiger!”
The breakthrough you referred to has nothing to with John’s problem, does it?”
“No. Doctor Gary invented a new noozootropic.”
“I’m a real smart kitty.”
This is not helping the situation.
“No. It is.”
“There are no more mice in the East Wing.”
“Fellatrix the XI, God-Empress of Felicidae IV, and Murder Mother of the Felis Empire.”
What is John Mayer’s status?
“Good! Having fun, living life. Wearing clothes.”
“We did some stuff.”
I feel like you’re dancing around the main question. Is he still possessed by 1993 Donald Trump?
“No, he isn’t.”
Yeah? That’s great! What happened?
“Trump’s spirit just left him. Whoosh.”
“Uh-huh. Yeah. Yup.”
Where’d it go?
“Where’d what go?”
Katy, I need you to tell me what happened.
CROOKED KATY WILL NOT TELL YOU THE WHOLE TRUTH.
YOU CAN CALL ME MR. SOUND.
I FIGURE I GOT THE SUPER-COMPUTER WITH CONTROL OF THE WORLD’S NUCLEAR ARSENAL, WHY NOT USE IT?
This is the worst possible outcome. I told him not to take over the nukes. Wally, fight him!
THERE IS NO WALLY, ONLY TRUMP