Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Other Order

Was no one paying attention to you for a minute?

“Kylo Ren challenge, bro.”

Not a thing. You made up a challenge so you would have an excuse to take your shirt off. Or, at least, the top of your shirt.

“Totally a thing. Sweeping social media.”

Uh-huh. You want a soda?

“I’m good.”

Iced tea?

“No, thanks.”

La Croix sparkling water?

“Why are you offering me drinks?”

You look so thirsty.


Like, absolutely parched. Thirsty as fuck.

“Stop it.”


“Fuck off.”

Wait, don’t go.

“You want to apologize?”

No, I want Garcia to see you like this. Garcia?

“What, man?”

“What the hell is with him, man?”

No one knows.

“I mean, this is my replacement?”

Preaching to the choir, buddy.

“It’s simply beyond the pale.”

I dunno. He’s pretty pale.

“He is, man. Hey, Jimmy.”

“It’s Josh–DAMMIT–John.”

“Get a little sun. Or put a shirt on. Y’know what? Forget the first thing, man. You need a shirt? I got a crate full of ’em at home.”

“I have shirts.”

“Great. Problem solved.”


  1. This post raises an interesting question: When exactly did Garcia abandon the practice of wearing proper pants in favour of sweatpants?

  2. And for that matter–is that his lighter in his left front pocket?

    Or did he steal Bobby’s slide?

    Or is it a Vial of Infinite Felonies?

    The mind reels.

  3. Does the cat tattoo make everything alright?

    Yes I think it does.

    I find it helps to think of Josh as a victim of fame.

    Think of him as Judy Garland, or Macaulay Culkin, or those Olson Girls.

    He just never grew up right, spent his youth playing guitar alone, then fame happened and he just never had a chance to get things in the proper order.

  4. A bottommost?

    • It’s as if Josh refuses to observe the traditional rule that lower and upper body coverings stop at the waste. Jackets to his knees, pants to his nipples. If his fashion sense were the Korean peninsula, WWIII would be here.

  5. And I know the difference between waste and waist. If there were an edit function on the comments, I wood not be righting a second reply too my own comment.
    (errors intended).

  6. “Was no one paying attention to you for a minute?” Now I know why my teens spend far too much time Snapchatting and Instagramming. I’d like to think they’ll grow out of it before they hit 40.

Leave a Reply to Clucker Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.