Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Right Way, The Wrong Way, Or The Steinway

spencer July 13, 2015 at 8-55 pmHey, Bruce. Whatcha–

“Dude.”

–doing? Yes?

“Dude.”

Uh-huh?

“I need you to leave me out of whatever it is that this is.”

It’s a semi-fictional prism through which to view the world, specifically–

“Shut the shit up. You are weird and I don’t like having your weirdness on me.”

You played very well in Chi–

“Dude, dude, dude: no. The time for that passed.”

Was it–

“Yeah, it was the cock rings.”

–the cock rings? I thought so, yeah.

“Bruce Hornsby is not a cock ring guy, okay?”

That’s why you were glaring disapprovingly on them!

You see no humor in this.

“I do not, no. I’m a family-kinda guy and I draw a family-kinda crowd and I don’t need to be caught up in your dong-cinching shenanigans.”

You’re right: sorry. I’ll fix it.

“Thank you.”

You did kill it in Chicago.

“Well, thank you. I appreciate it. Had a lot of fun.”

Do you need–

“No.”

–a Benjy? Okay, just asking.

7 Comments

  1. that was a quick correction!

    coming from a family of pianists.

  2. hugh.c.mcbride

    July 14, 2015 at 1:34 am

    The three greatest three-word combinations in the English language:

    1. Call me Ishmael.
    2. Just Do It.
    3. Dong-cinching shenanigans

  3. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    July 14, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    “i’ll stick with my vintage Peter Lawford Accu-Jack, thank you very much sir”

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