Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Spice Trade

STATEMENT FROM THE PRESS SECRETARY, 4:02 PM

Today while discussing President Trump’s heroic actions in Syria, I made an error in speaking. In trying to demonstrate how evil Assad is, I made a poor comparison that I apologize for. What I meant to say was that Hitler didn’t use chemical weapons in battle, which is much worse.


STATEMENT FROM THE PRESS SECRETARY, 4:11 PM

In my earlier apology, I stated that using chemical weapons in battle was worse than what Hitler did. I was incorrect in that statement, and I would like to retract it fully. The point that I was making was that, unlike Assad, Hitler didn’t kill his own people.

STATEMENT FROM THE PRESS SECRETARY, 4:17 PM

In the time since my last statement, it has been brought to my attention that Jews were German citizens. Wow. No idea. My bad. Huge sorry. My heart goes out to the four million who died in the Shoah Villages.

STATEMENT FROM THE PRESS SECRETARY, 4:27 PM

I am now being informed that six million Jews died, and they were brought to places called concentration camps. Camp? Camp sounds nice. Is there water-skiing?

STATEMENT FROM THE ASSISTANT PRESS SECRETARY, 4:31 PM

Sean has come down with the stomach flu and will be going home for the day. The lid is on.

2 Comments

  1. I almost feel sorry for this sad sack but then I don’t. The nattering nabobs are on the inside now.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      April 12, 2017 at 12:56 am

      I don’t even get anywhere near sympathy for any of these rancid fuckers. They made their choices.

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