Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Team-Up No One Was Expecting, But Can’t Be Completely Surprised By

“How are the kids?”

“Gordie, Girl Gordie, Jean-Luc, Fleece, Northstar, and the twins, Billie and Mickie?”

“Yeah. Your kids.”

“Good. They’re good. Growing, man. You wouldn’t believe how many bags of milk we go through a week. How are yours?”

“Rivka, Shmuley, and Hummus?”

“Yeah. Your kids.”

“Also good.”

“Amir, lemme ask you one question.”

“Oh, not you, too.”

“Why’d you leave out the Radio City shows?”

“You were a producer of the film, David.”

“I know, yeah, but I never quite understood what a film producer does.”

“No one knows. Well, wait, not exactly. The Executive Producer procures the money. The Line Producer writes the checks. But the kind of producer you were? No one knows.”

“It was swell to be one, though.”

“You’re chipper.”

“I’m Canadian.”

“What’s the next Dave’s Pick?”

“Cornell.”

“You just released Cornell.”

“I know. Every release from now on is going to be Cornell. We’re going the same way that Disney is going with Star Wars.”

“Taking something enjoyable and jamming it everyone’s ass until they burst?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s working for them.”

“That was my argument. Plus, this is a lot less work.”

“I would imagine.”

“What’s next for Amir Bar-Lev?”

“Thinking about becoming a YouTuber.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Vlogging about my life. Maybe reacting to stuff.”

“Interesting.”

“What about you, David?”

“I’ve always wanted to be an exterior decorator.”

“Fascinating. Tell me about your posture.”

“Canadians all learn posture in the prairie schools we’re assigned to at whelping. From age five until fifteen, we were forced to play hockey while balancing Margaret Atwood books on her heads.”

“How much hockey did you play?”

“Normal amount. Nine or ten hours a day.”

“I’m learning a lot here.

4 Comments

  1. Fellow enthusiasts will be interested in a somewhat new (to me) book, on clearance at indigo
    “Live at the Fillmore east and west” by John glatt
    Lots of stories , mostly new, about bill graham,Janis Joplin, Carlisle Santana and more.

  2. Wow Good work auto correct, I couldn’t have been trying to write Carlos an unbelievably popular Spanish name, indeed mine, but instead rather ‘Carlisle?’

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      June 20, 2017 at 9:11 pm

      Auto-correct is racist as shit. I know “bueno” isn’t an English word, auto-correct, but it’s fucking “bueno.”

      Loanwords and commonly-used foreign phrases, too. A-C is a linguistic isolationist.

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