Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Trump Administration Travels Through Time

The Reichstag, Feburary 1933

“Anyone see us?”

“No, we’re good. Okay, burn it down.”

“What? Me?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought you had the matches.”

“You were supposed to bring them.”

“The matches were your responsibility.”

“Well, do you have a lighter?”

“I have a vape pen.”

“That doesn’t help.”

“What if we break the windows?”

“You can’t start World War II by breaking windows, jackass.”

Sarajevo, June 1914

“There he is.”

“No.”

“I see him.”

“Not him.”

BANG!

“I shot the archduke!”

“No, you didn’t! That’s just a regular duke.”

“No.”

“Do you mean to tell me you don’t know the difference between a duke and a archduke?”

“I just assumed–”

“GodDAMNit!”

“–they’d be much more physically dissimilar.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Who’d I shoot?”

“No idea.”

“Is this gonna start World War I?”

“Almost certainly not.”

Spain, 1478

“What do you mean ‘You lost the Jews?'”

“They were right here in the ghetto last time I looked.”

“They’re not here now.”

“Which is odd, because I told them to be up bright and early today for the Inquisition.”

“You told them about it!?”

“You don’t want to just spring the Spanish Inquisition on someone who isn’t expecting it.”

“THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO!”

“Doesn’t seem sporting.”

“Regardless. We now have no Jews. To whom will we make our inquiries?”

“It’s almost like our boundless enthusiasm for evil is outmatched by our infinite capacity for incompetence.”

“Almost.”

3 Comments

  1. two posts, one with a picture of a guy wearing a cape and the other with a time machine and no mention of Elvis… what are the odds?

  2. Well said, any competent villain would have handled this takeover much more effectively.

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