Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

The Worst American Travel Writing, 2016 Edition

  • “Things I Made up About Australia while I was in Minneapolis.”
  • “I Got Lost While Looking for a White Guy who went Looking for a White Guy who went Looking for a White Guy in the Amazon.”
  • “My Rio,” by Ryan Lochte.
  • “Playing Ping-Pong with FARC.”
  • “Watching Natives Kill Something And Having Feelings About It.”
  • “The Northhampton Grackle: An Uninteresting Bird.”
  • “Foreigners Make Me Cranky,” by Paul Theroux.
  • “A Monkey is Fucking my Armpit.”
  • “The Water Parks of North Korea.”
  • “Dubai on $50,000 a Day.”
  • “Walking the Great Wall of China but Getting Tired and Stopping.”
  • “Syria: You Must Not Travel Here; I Don’t Know Why I Did.”
  • 200 pages on a Cinnabon he ate at in O’Hare Airport, by William T. Vollman.


  1. Blood in the Lazy River (Subtitle: Murder at the Water Park!)

  2. The Vollman reference made me spit take LOL.


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