Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

There Can Be Only Only

rando checkerboard

John?

“It’s Johanna now.”

Goddammit.

“I’m exploring my feminine side. And I’m not wearing a watch! I am without a net, man.”

John–

“Johanna.”

–are you hiding from Kim Jong-Un?

“Maybe.”

Just break up with him.

“How do you break up with the ruler of Only Korea?”

North Korea.

“Don’t fucking do that! Take your little running gags, and your dialogue tics, and your idiosyncratic punctuation and jam it up your unreliable ass. That guy is weird, and the fucking NSA is watching me now, and I’m not in Phish and I’m having a rough week, so I don’t need your bullshit right now.”

Wow.

“Yeah.”

CELL PHONE NOISE

“FUCK YOU. Stop giving him my GODDAMNED NUMBER!”

CELL PHONE NOISE

You should answer that.

“Fuck you.”

CELL PHONE NOISE

“Wait…that’s not my phone.”

CELL PHONE NOISE

Holy shit, It’s mine.

“You should answer that.”

Hold on.

Weir here.

“Why you answer phone like Bob? You no Bob.”

How the fuck are you calling me?

kim jong un captain

“Only Korea been real and semi-fictional for years. Father invented semi-fictionality.”

That actually sounds true, but you can’t be in the real world.

“There two Only Koreas now. Real one and us. Guess what happen now?”

Please don’t go to war with the real Only Korea.

“Already start. Look at Navy. So strong.”

Why are they on the beach?

“Yacht sank.”

I have to go. Get back in the bullshit universe.

“Fuck you, Hot Dog Dick.”

Dammit.

2 Comments

  1. Hahahahahaha!

  2. Mean, Green Devil Eating Machine

    August 11, 2016 at 11:44 am

    White means white – not ‘white white’ and ‘creamy white’. I foresee a massive purge of the People’s Navy.

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