Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

These Jews Are Worse Than Gary Cohn, But Just Barely

  • Bernie Madoff.
  • Hymen Roth.
  • My aunt, Helen. (The woman is a pig.)
  • Whoever decided there should be seeds in rye bread. (Why the fuck would you ever choose seeded rye breaded over seedless? Seeds are just edible splinters; all they do is get stuck in your teeth, and the little fuckers get way up in there, too.)
  • Judas Iscariot.
  • The Jew broad from Goodfellas who wouldn’t go out with Tommy alone. (She was racist against Italians. Can you believe that?)
  • Auschwitz kapos.
  • Meir Kahane.
  • Mayim Bialik. (She’s horrendous.)
  • Hal Gadot, Gal’s brother who likes to make himself vomit on children.
  • Harvey Weinstein.
  • Woody Allen.
  • Those Hasidic assholes who attack women in shorts.
  • Leopold.
  • Loeb.
  • Julius Rosenberg.
  • Ethel Rosenberg,
  • Freshy Greenblatt.
  • Did you google Freshy Greenblatt?
  • Yeah, I made him up.
  • But good on you for doing your own research.

11 Comments

  1. SpamJam

    Hey, leave beloved Mets broadcaster Gary Cohen out of this

    To be fair, he does also have the job of working daily to keep an overweight dunce who peaked in the 80s from going completely off the rails when talking to the public, with mixed success

    http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2298689.1437483801!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/sny.jpg

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      Goddammit, there’s no “e”

      • SpamJam

        Given the similarities between their roles I understand the confusion

  2. ritchie vanian

    Seeded rye is superior to unseeded.
    other than that, i grok.

  3. Wrayven

    I don’t believe Gary Cohn is as horrible as some of the other Jewish people in Trump’s orbit. For starters no inclusion of Benjamin Netanyahu or Roy Cohn seems very off. What about Stephen Miller? He seems far worse than Gary Cohn ever could be. Pam Geller’s yearly contest to draw the prophet Muhammad should have guaranteed her inclusion. She is another one in Trump’s outer orbit that I find to be a far more offensive member of the Jewish faith than Gary Cohn. Even Trump denounced her a couple of years ago for her stupid contest. Gina Loudon seems like another logical choice. Jared Kushner? Steve Mnuchin?

    Hymen Roth is supposed to be partially based on Mafia legend Meyer Lansky: does he rate on this list? What about other famed Jewish Mafia members such as Benjamin “Bugsy” Seigel or Arnold “The Brain” Rothstein? Dutch Schulz(Arthur Flegenheimer)? I would keep Meyer & Arnold Rothstein off the list, but Bugsy sounded like a total jerk and probably deserved his fate. He did make Vegas a reality which isn’t a plus in my book. I admire Dutch, but he is probably worse than Gary Cohn. I would get a drink with Dutch though. Probably Bugsy too, so these titans of the early Jewish Mafia are at least cooler than Gary Cohn.

    The seeds in Rye are more likely a German or Scandinavian thing. Most of the rye bread I ever ate in Eastern Europe didn’t commonly have seeds. Definitely German bread uses seeds all of the time. Being a contrarian, I will disagree with you on this point. The seeds offer protein and fiber beyond their taste and ornamental purposes. Maybe it was a Jewish baker who originally conceived of the idea, but I couldn’t tell you that.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      Forgot Pamela Geller. Good call. Is Dana Loesch a Jew? Oh, fuvk, and that little Ben Shapiro prick, too.

      And all Jewish gangsters are cool, and therefore fine by me.

  4. Dawn

    i like the seeds. in fact, were it offered, i would take extra seeds.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      All of you are fucking nuts. Seeds are the devil’s lice.

  5. Doug ross

    Lenny Hart?

    • SmokingLeather

      If this was social media I’d have just put a like instead of saying straight out, how did you miss Lenny Hart?
      I also agree on Steven Miller.

  6. Luther Von Baconson

    Roth did invent the Roth IRA for those Bad Irish.

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