Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Things Improved By The Addition Of Kung Fu

  • Meals.
  • The opera.
  • Farmer’s markets.
  • Church.
  • Interventions.
  • Pediatrician’s office.
  • The line for Cinnabon at the airport.
  • Imagine going to the bank for a loan and having your approval and interest rate determined not by your credit score, but by how strong your kung fu was. I think that would be an improvement, or at least more memorable.
  • Picnics.
  • Other peoples’ picnics.
  • Non-kung fu movies.
  • War. (I’m talking about replacing the guns and bombs and ships and planes with kung fu, not adding kung fu into the mix. That would make war worse. I want a war in which the most advanced technologies are sticks and backfilpping. If wars were fought using solely kung fu, then I would vote for whichever candidate promised the most wars. War would be awesome.)
  • All sports except ice hockey because someone would get their throat sliced open in the first period and we’re just trying to have fun here, man.
  • Basketball would be much better with kung fu, because–and you’ll know this if you’ve seen Kareem Abdul Jabbar fight Bruce Lee in Game of Death–people who are seven feet tall look ludicrous doing kung fu.
  • Nascar.
  • Presidential debates. (Would you ever miss a second of the debates if you knew that the candidates were going to kick one another in the head and face and neck and head again?)
  • Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
  • Popes should be chosen using kung fu.

17 Comments

  1. Kung Fu church..

    Shame on someone for video in church, If I pulled out my I-phone in church my Mom would have killed me, and I would have gone to hell.

  2. Dead Shows or what is left of them, they would benefit from kung fu

  3. The show is back, if anyone else is on coach tour. See you in that comment section.

  4. The Bill of Rights would be better with Kung Fu

  5. Mike & Gloria Gonna Be My Name

    November 22, 2015 at 3:36 am

    Those cats were fast as lightning

  6. You know that Mickey Hart recorded a soundtrack for a Kung Fu movie in 1973, right? It was called The Silent Flute. Hart had a three album deal with Warners, Rolling Thunder was the first, and the next two were rejected (Area Code 415 and Silent Flute), so it was never released. A tape circulates, with ambient music by Hart, Garcia and others. A Commenter on my thread say

    “The Silent Flute” (not necessarily the same project that Mickey worked on) was a film that Bruce Lee had tried to get made since 1969, and the lengthy process involved names like Steve McQueen and James Coburn. Lee died before the project could even begin, and David Carradine later bought the rights and filmed and released the story as CIRCLE OF IRON. Is this the same “Silent Flute” that Mickey was involved with? We may never know, but I think it’s suggestive that Mickey supposedly worked on the music in 1973, Bruce Lee died in 1973 and just like that the project seems to have vanished into the ether. Coincidence?

    http://hooterollin.blogspot.com/2012/08/album-projects-recorded-at-mickey-harts.html?showComment=1345829780547#c2473070084848994775

    Mickey, Jerry, Bruce Lee, Kung Fu. You can’t make this stuff up

  7. The Dick Punch, ‘natch.

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