Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Things John Kahn Could Be Mistaken For

  • Swinger.
  • Electrician with a strong pro-union position.
  • Worker at methadone clinic.
  • Client at methadone clinic.
  • Person casually sitting in car outside methadone clinic.
  • Short-order cook.
  • Tall-order cook.
  • A tall-order cook only cooks really challenging food.
  • “A tiger burger with cheese made from lion’s milk? Man, that’s a tall order.”
  • “Well, that’s why I called you.”
  • “Oh. Well, lemme get to milking those big cats.”
  • Phil Lynott.
  • Mob paralegal. (Never passed the mob bar to become a mob lawyer.)
  • Guy who broke the coffee machine at the AA meeting.
  • John Kerry impersonator.
  • French Foreign Legionnaire with a mysterious and tragic past.
  • Guy at the American Legion hall who gets shitty on Budweiser and tries to run down Filipinos with his car.
  • Agoraphobic park ranger.
  • Owner, John’s Tall & Lanky Men’s Wear.


  1. Not featured on this list: your mom

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