Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Things The Oscars Can Do

  • Go fuck themselves.
  • Stop being so nice to Roman Polanski.
  • Continue fucking themselves.
  • Harblegarble diversity blackpartsmatterwhitewashingbetterredthandeadsuckmyballs.
  • Why did you stop fucking yourselves, Oscars?
  • Give Bobby the Irving Thalberg award.
  • Let Rob Lowe sing again.
  • Seriously, Oscars: fuck yourselves until I tell you to stop or your dicks fall off.
  • Give an impassioned speech about the president; I bet that’ll be the thing to do it.
  • Merge with the Grammys, Emmys, and Tonys and get all this self-suckery out of the way in one night.
  • Announce from the stage that there was an error in last years tabulations, and Leo will have to give his Oscar back.
  • Coat statues with VX, give Best Director to Mel Gibson.
  • Go fuck themselves.

1 Comment

  1. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    February 27, 2017 at 1:07 pm

    I think they did it last night, with the ‘alternative best picture’ envelopes.

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