Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Things You Can Tell About Roy Head From Three Album Covers

  1. roy head sane people cover
  2. IMG_2781
  3. IMG_2780

First of all: Roy was either not a details man, or someone at his record company hated his guts; probably both, because these are the worst things I’ve ever seen.

That first one would be a shitty design even if it weren’t resting on a shade that can only be called blurple; the second one is out of focus, for fuck’s sake; and then there’s that third one.

That might be the worst album cover I’ve ever seen, and the title is included. Dismal Prisoner is not just depressing, it’s tough to say.

Try it.

Right?

Plus, the damn thing is piss-yellow. And in case you didn’t get the subtle urea flavor to the shot, there is an actual toilet on the album cover. I’m almost shocked there’s not an impressively coiled turd in the bowl, that’s how off-putting this record looks.

How was this allowed to happen? Was this album made under the auspices of a scam like in The Producers, where they were trying to fail? Or, was this Roy’s idea and no one could stop him?

This last conjecture might be the case: Snowman from the Comment Section asked about Roy Head’s relationship with Elvis. Now, we all know that the depths of Hell write themselves love letters within the comments on YouTube; it is the single dumbest place on the planet, but the Rock Nerd obscurantists listening to old 45’s from half-forgotten Texans tend to be a bit more thoughtful, and I found this comment you should see.

Roy and Carolyn were FRIENDS with Elvis…look it up, Roy got drunk one night (imagine that!). You know him, you know he loves tequila ….haha as Elvis was going onstage, ROY DECIDED TO JUST BITE HIM ON THE LEG!!!!!!!

Obviously, we must take Innertube randos with a grain of salt, but let’s have a thought experiment: if I asked you, “What kind of man bites Elvis?” what would you picture?

roy Head 7
Right? Roy Head bit Elvis. This is now the truth.

15 Comments

  1. …I told Elvis that our guest was Roy Head, who’d cut “Treat Her Right.”

    “Man, I love that record,” said Elvis, extending a hand to Roy.

    Roy didn’t shake Elvis’s hand. Instead, he fell to the floor, grabbed Elvis’s leg, and bit his ankle. Elvis went into a karate stance as if he were ready to kick Roy Head’s head off and shouted, “What wrong with you?”

    Roy stood up, dusted himself off and said, “I’m sorry, Elvis. You really are an idol of mine. But if I just shook hands with you, you’d never remember me. Now I know you’re never going to forget the guy who bit you on the ankle.”

    Roy had a point—Elvis never forgot him.

    Maybe Roy had this illusion
    http://www.elvisblog.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Dracula-Elvis-and-Marilyn-Monroe.jpg

  2. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    November 18, 2015 at 7:10 pm

    i like the fact Roy put on some beef since his Shindig gig. and hippified his hair. nice feathering. bodes well.

  3. Yes Cuznt (my brain always reads as Cuntz) I knew there must be a karate stance somewhere in this relationship! Truth is stranger than fiction (or as strange as) if it is indeed true.

  4. You know, with the angle you really can’t tell what’s in the terlet (which is how I imagine Roy Head says toilet). There could easily be a sizable deuce just out of view.

    Also, this is the hardest I’ve laughed in several days, so thanks for that.

  5. This is all getting a little too close to the truth for comfort. You do know that an exact description of a past event is indistinguishable from the event itself?

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