Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Thoughts And Prayers Go To Texas

CELL PHONE NOISE

“Yello?”

“Prayers? It’s Thoughts.”

“Hey, T-Money.”

“Don’t call me that. Where are you?”

“I’m in Texas.”

“You are? What the fuck, dude? We travel together.”

“I have my own life, Thoughts. I’ve told you this.”

“Oh, not again.”

“You had your chance. You could’ve married me, but now that door’s closed forever.”

“I can’t have this conversation again. We have a job to do.”

“You’re right. This is a tragedy. People need Thoughts and Prayers.”

“We’re like the Tango and Cash of not actually doing anything.”

“We rock. So, where are you? Puerto Rico?”

“Did we even go to Puerto Rico?”

“Kind of. We did that Virtual Reality thing.”

“Oh, right. Between you and me? I loved that. Didn’t even have to put my pants on.”

“Eh. VR makes me nauseous. You gonna tell me where you are or not?”

“I’m in New York City, Prayers.”

“The van thing where people got run over.”

“The van thing.”

“Thoughts, buddy, it is tough to keep up with all the bullshit.”

“Coming at us hot and heavy this year. Anyway, I’m on my way down.”

“Great. These folks are hurting and really need their Thoughts and Prayers.”

“We’re better than nothing, but just barely. Hey, Prayers, why were you in Texas?”

“Funny story: the people who got shot?”

“Yeah?”

“They were literally praying at the time.”

“You don’t say.”

“Small world, right?”

“Wow.”

“They were in a church engaged in prayer at the moment they all got shot.”

“They were praying and the gun still worked?”

“I know, right?”

“Well, you can’t be blamed.”

“No.”

“Tell you what, pal. I’ll be there in a few hours. We’ll slap on the smiles, plow through our act, then we’ll fly out to LA and hit the Chateau.”

“Oh, that sounds like heaven.”

“Great. Hold down the fort. I’m on my way.”

“Unless there’s another mass shooting in the interim and we have to meet there.”

“You said it.”

1 Comment

  1. Luther Von Baconson

    November 6, 2017 at 7:13 pm

    .

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