Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Thoughts On Super Bowl LI

  • The bad guys will win.
  • No matter how hot and skinny you are, eventually you will have a floppy tummy.
  • Terry Bradshaw wants to fuck Tom Brady.
  • Terry Bradshaw wants to be fucked by Tom Brady.
  • NFL owners will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes.
  • Hell, let’s not wait for the revolution.
  • We have run out of gas, collectively: when a culture starts bringing back its old advertising icons, then it is out of ideas.
  • Spuds?
  • Really?
  • Dig up that little mustache fucker out of the ground; tell him it’s time to make the donuts.
  • Katie Nolan>Erin Andrews in every single way.
  • The only Real Americans® are Military-Americans, and all the rest of us should drop to our knees and thank them, orally, for our Freedom®.
  • Just because you’re playing in a dome doesn’t mean a flyover is out of the question.
  • Julian Edelman’s haircut is a mod at /r/The_Donald.
  • New rule: players must get their helmets locked together at least once every game from now on; it is adorable.
  • If you ask Alexa what time it is, she will not know; if you ask her the weather, she will give you the forecast for the wrong city; if you ask her what the Over/Under for the game is, she will respond INSTANTLY with “57.5 points is the Over/Under.”
  • I think Alexa might have a gambling problem.
  • Shannon Sharpe is a preening twit.
  • I’m beginning to think we’ll never meet Lord Gaga.
  • All commercials from now on should troll the president.
  • “Come on down to Larry’s Furniture Shack and buy yourself a couch. Also, Trump’s a wetbrained cocksniffer. Financing available!”
  • Fox kept their name and the number of the Super Bowl in Roman numerals (LI) up on the screen for most of the game, and I kept wondering, “Who is Fox Li? Is that Jet’s son?”
  • I’m happy for Gronk, I suppose.
  • This might be my last year of football; I have grown to despise everything about the sport but the actual game.
  • It’ll be nice to see Alfa Romeos on the side of American roads again.


  1. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    February 6, 2017 at 9:32 am

    I am happy with the results!

  2. Excellent. NFL now officially part of the military-industrial complex. Falcons had one job: beat the official team of the fourth reich.

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