Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Time (Sheath Technology) Is A Flat Circle


“You remember how I promised not to use the Time Sheath technology anymore?”

“You mean after you got caught trying to abandon Ned Lagin in the Pleistocene?”

“I wasn’t abandoning him, Bob. He wanted to see a stegosaurus.”

“But you handcuffed him to a tree and left him there.”

“One thing has nothing to do with the other.”

“Did Stegosaurs live in the Pleistocene?”

“I have no idea. Anyway, I might have snuck ahead 40 years, just to take a look around. Plus, my contract was up and I was/will be due for a new phone.”

“How do you use that thing, anyway? The cell towers haven’t been put up yet.”

“Oh, you just beam the signal through the Time Sheath technology. Bear worked it out.”


“Roaming charges are astronomical.”

“So, what about 40 years from now?”

“Our fanbase seems to be intact, but a good number of them have far more money than brains.”

“How so?”

“You wouldn’t believe what kind of money tickets to our last shows are going for.”

“Fifty dollars.”

“More than that.”


“Way more.


“This’ll take forever, so I’ll just tell you. Five figures.”

“With the decimal point?”

“No, Bob.”


“Garcia still gonna be dead, Phil?”

“Dead as disco.”

“Future seems all fucked up.”

“That it does, Bob.”

“I’ll still cash the check, though.”

“Fuck, yeah.”


  1. Robin Russell

    March 2, 2015 at 1:53 am

    The scalpers might be making more out of this than the band.

  2. To echo Phil, “Fuck, yeah”. This is good stuff.

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