“All right, all right. Look at all of you. So many people. We have over twenty thousand people waiting outside who couldn’t get it, the hugest crowds. I’m gonna get right to it: next debate, I’m punching Hillary in the face. She deserves it! Maybe the eye, could be the jaw. I’ll pick my spot, and Crooked Hillary is going down. That’s how we used to elect presidents, but now we’re politically correct. I don’t have time to be politically correct, so I’m gonna punch her.
“But that’s not why I came here to Wilkes-Barre. I came to talk about my plan to make America great again. Bill Clinton is a serial rapist. He has raped many times, many rapes. Out on my golf course, where I would always beat him at golf, he would tell me stories. Rape this, rape that. Girl who came around with the drink cart? Raped! She came back around on the fourteenth hole. Raped again! Bill even got the caddy, a fine young man, one of my blacks. Spreads it around.
“But I talk bad. Oooh, Mr. Trump: you can’t say that, you can’t say this. There’s this tape of me, I said a bad word. Wash my mouth out with soap. A bad word. Not so bad, believe me, not so bad. Men in locker rooms talk this way all the time, worse. Wait til you hear what I say on the next tape, you’ll think the last tape was nothing. It’s nothing! Words. C’mon, words. Words don’t mean anything. Now listen to me carefully.
“Why are we talking about something I said when I could be defeating ISIS? Why are we talking about banter, locker room talk, guy talk when Obamacare kills ten thousand people a day? You have to remember that Sidney Blumenthal, Hillary’s bagman, was the first person to grab pussies. He did it first. In 2008, during the campaign, everyone knows this. What I said on that bus was Hillary’s fault.
“America is on fire. The failed Obama’s failed policies, which have failed, are a disaster. The worst! This morning in my security briefing, the generals told me some very interesting thing about the so-called president. Can’t read! Michelle, who is aging, has to explain things to him. Memorizes his speeches by sound. The generals also told me that the Wikileaks hacks are not coming from Russia, they said that specifically, not Russia. Tell me this: if Failed Obama wasn’t a failure, then why will he soon be one of the 57% of blacks in Chicago without a job? And who’s gonna hire him? Can’t read.
“The media, so crooked. Against me. Anderson Cooper and the woman, both very unfair to me. They twist my words and say that I disagreed with Mike Pence. Great guy, the best. Triple AAA guy, Pence. This thing with the tape, the bus, the grabbing, whatever: he calls me up and says, “Mr. Trump, let me put out a statement. You’re the only one who can save America.” He said that. His wife, Karen, lovely, great, she’s bitching at him. Gotta keep the peace! I say to release his little statement, I let him do that. “What you said wasn’t bad at all, Mr. Trump. I say things like that all the time.” Mike Pence said that to me on the phone, and then he said things that were way worse. Way worse, disgusting things. Great guy, big league governor, I made a great choice.
“Many legal scholars have told me that we can skip the trial and throw Hillary right in prison. Folks, she’s baby Hitler. You have a time machine? Go back in time, there’s baby Hitler, you kill him? Hillary is baby Hitler here. We have our chance, folks. We have our chance, and if we don’t take it, we’re all gonna die. Bill Clinton is building a secret army of rapebots, and we have a chance to stop it. They’re not even building the rapebots in the States, they’re from Mexico. Mexico is sending us their rapebots!
“The LA Times. Breitbart. Fox. Ken Bone. All for me. They know I won the debate, but the lying media, who are liars, lie. I was far more presidential at the debate, way more presidential, the most presidential. She doesn’t look right! Up close? Sick. That’s what I saw! Sick. Dying? I dunno dying, but sick. I know a lot about the medical. Many times when I go to the doctor, I end up teaching him stuff. So good with the medical. Hillary? Six months to live.
“I’m not saying the election is rigged, but the election is rigged. Maybe. I’m not saying it’s rigged. The election is rigged, you know what I’m saying. Who’s gonna steal this election from us? The blacks? Gotta be careful, folks. You see a black at the polls, what are they there for? Voting, looting, what? Keep an eye out! The blacks, who should vote for me, are going to steal the election from me. You won’t see this on CNN. Only I’ll tell you these things.
“She wants to arm people! Rebels, whoever. Russia sneezes, and Murdering Hillary, who is a war criminal, arms the rebels. That’s how she made Al Qaeda, which she also created in addition to ISIS. Meanwhile, Russia has nuclear, they’re killing us with nuclear. China has cyber, they’re killing us with cyber. What do we have? Blacks with no jobs and 33,000 missing e-mails. They’re laughing at us!
“Tweeting is a modern day form of communication. Like it or not. I have 40 million followers. Not on Instagram, I don’t get it. Barron? Great with Instagram, all the filters, the best. They say I tweeted about a sex tape. Wrong. C’mon. Hillary let those brave Americans die in Benghazi for her own sexual pleasure. Everyone knows this, she’s a pervert like Bill, everyone knows this. I tweeted about that sex tape because that woman gained a lot of weight. At least I was up at three in the morning. What was Hillary doing? Covering up a rape?
“The media is going to try to tell you we’re losing, but they’re lying to you. Listen to me. These so-called Republicans. Very disloyal, very unfair to me. Maybe they get put in prison next to Jailbird Hillary? Traitors, right? What do you with a traitor, huh? Maybe I release a list of congressmen who have grabbed Kellyanne Conway? This is back when she was sort of hot, worked out a lot. If Trump is so against women, then how come I hired a woman who is no longer hot?
“Crooked Hillary is Satan, folks. She has rape in her heart. Hillary Clinton will outlaw guns and make abortions mandatory, except if you’re a Radical Islamic Muslim because we wouldn’t want to be insensitive. Her first day in office, she will give ISIS the nuclear, all the nuclear. Hillary Clinton will kill everything you love.
“Let’s make America again! Four more weeks! All right, great.”