Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To


trey jerry fat

Weird things had begun happening the second that Trey signed the contract to join the Dead for the 50th anniversary shows at Soldier Field.

He had had beards on and off for decades, but he never recalled any of them being quite so full. So…muppety.

The weight gain was alarming, but not surprising. Usually a vegetarian, Trey had been having insatiable cravings for meatball subs and 7-11 hot dogs and Haagen-Dazs straight from the container. Luckily, Trey’s vanity had disappeared, too, so he was fine with sweatpants now.

The fires and the ex-wives, on the other hand, were not fine at all with Trey, who at this point was wishing he had taken up the bass clarinet.


  1. Anchovy Rancher

    January 16, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    Now, come on…That’s gotta be Photoshopped.

  2. Anchovy Rancher

    January 16, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    Then, realized it actually was and the joke was: “on me.”

    Just didn’t see the right hand, first go-round.

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